My happy Place?
by SatinEdge
Summary: Lemons! When Bella finds herself in an abusive marriage will a trip to the ER help her find happiness when she meets Dr. Cullen? Can they find away to get Bella out of James' grasp or will Edward lose her forever? FYI story includes graphic rape COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

"Isabella" James screamed from the kitchen table "How the hell long does it really take to bring my dinner to me?" "I'm coming" I meagerly said. What am I supposed to say fuck off, get your own meal, bite me? All good comebacks but I knew better by now not to ever say anything like that to James. We've been married for a whole two months now and to say I was in marital bliss would only be a lie.

I walked slowly to the table setting James plate in front of him. "I'm sorry it took so long." I said with a small glance at his eyes. His black dark eyes that make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and the goose bumps run down my spine. "Just sit down and shut up will you" He said slamming his fist on the table. I jump of course because he always frightens me.

I don't know what happened to James after we got married. We met in my sophomore year of college at the University of Chicago. I was sitting in the café looking over some notes for an upcoming test when he sat down beside me. "Excuse me miss, is this seat taken?" He was very nice looking and polite, wow, don't find that too often in college. "No it is not, umm hi my name is Bella and you are?"

"Well Bella how very nice to meet you, my name is James" he said while shaking my hand and smiling.

That's where it all began we dated and became close, very close. He was everything I was looking for in a man. Determined to graduate top of his class to be a lawyer, had a steady job, and was ever so sweet to me. Always taking me out to dinner and doing romantic little gestures for me. I fell fast and I feel hard.

It was a Saturday evening and we were heading out to go to dinner. We had been dating for two years now and for some reason he seemed on edge that night. He ended up getting down on one knee in front of the whole restaurant that night to ask for my hand in marriage. I of course accepted knowing I loved him very much.

He rushed the wedding saying he just couldn't wait to be my husband. I was stubborn and tried to argue but of course he won the argument and we were married three short months later.

The first couple weeks were great but they slowly started to fade and I started to see a side of James I had never seen before starting to rear its ugly head. It started with him simply yelling at me when he came home from a bad day at the office or punching something when we argued. Over the last couple of months though it was becoming progressively worse. We have been married for two months now and two nights ago he came home angry and I immediately tensed up.

"Dammit Isabella how many times do I have to tell you not to dress like that" He screamed. "James what are you talking about? What is wrong with what I am wearing?" I asked confused. "You look like a paid whore Isabella is that what you are? Is that what you do while I'm working huh? You have men come over here and let them Fuck you, let them take what is mine?" He asked with his eyebrow raised.

"Excuse me" I screamed at him "How dare you speak to me like that" I hissed back at him. "Isabella my dear I will speak to you how ever I want to, because you're my wife and I can do with you as I please." He stated.

I turned around and headed to the bedroom without saying a word I grabbed a bag and started packing a few things. Wait till Alice and Rose hear about this they are going to shit. Rose especially she never stood for anyone especially a man speaking like that to a woman let alone me her best friend.

The hairs on my neck stood up as I felt him behind me. He grabbed my arm and ripped me around.

"And just where in the fuck do you think you are going?" He questioned. "I am just going to go Alice's for a night we need to cool down."

Before the sentence was even completely out I felt his hand slam into my stomach dropping me to the floor immediately. I was gasping for air and clutching the carpet underneath me for dear life. The tears started to fall from my eyes and the pain in my stomach was immense.

"You think I would just let you leave like that Isabella." He said grabbing my face. "You are mine." He grabbed my body and screamed "This is mine!" He came down to the floor and looked straight into my eyes, "If you ever try to leave just let it be known right here and right now you won't make it very far."

With that he threw my head down and kicked me in the side before walking out of the room. I laid out on the floor gasping for air and not even really understanding what just happened. Who was that man because it certainly wasn't the James I knew and loved.

I laid there for an hour at least just trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. I heard the floor creak and I immediately curled up into a ball and put my head down on my knees.

"Isabella you look disgusting go clean yourself up now." He barked at me. I jumped off the floor and ran to the master bathroom. I slammed the door and locked it. I walked over to the mirror and saw my reflection as the tears started falling down my cheeks. Never had I looked so sad and lost in my life. My eyes looked dead no emotion showing thru. I slowly pulled my shirt up and saw the two huge bruises that now were starting to slightly show on my stomach and side.

"Hurry up Isabella, I will not wait much longer you have five minutes to have your ass in my bed" He yelled thru the door.

What he expected me to sleep with him after this, was he crazy? I knew that my phone was downstairs in my purse and there was no way to get around him to get to it. Would he hit me again if I didn't comply? I didn't think I could handle that pain again. I decided I would do it just till I could get away tomorrow. What other choice did I have? I wasn't about to test him anymore tonight.

I slowly walked out of the bathroom. I looked up and saw him standing with his shirt off looking at me. I walked towards my dresser to grab some clothes and he pushed me down on the bed. He ripped my shirt off and gazed at the bruises starting to form on my stomach and side.

"You know why I hit you here?" He asked pointing at the spots. I quickly shook my head no because I couldn't even speak I was so scared. "Because no one can see them there." He laughed

That night I closed my eyes and checked out while James was all over me laughing viciously every so often. I went to my happy place. I've been there ever since.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" James said starring at me.

"Oh I'm just thinking about Alice and Rose I haven't talked to them in two days and just wondering what they are up too." I stated.

"What do you see in those two little whores is beyond me Isabella." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"They are not whores they are my best friends." I said lightly.

He stood up and walked the short distance to stand in front of me. He grabbed my chin and squeezed hard "They are whatever I say they are, you hear me Isabella." He sneered.

"Yes, yes whatever you say." I squeaked out.

"Get this cleaned up and get your ass up stairs I have some frustration to get out, and Isabella…You try to leave and I promise like I said the other night you won't make it far. I will take the life out of you myself if you ever try to go. Just remember that" He laughed as he walked away.

Cleaning up the dishes I knew he wasn't lying. He would kill me. He told me nobody would ever have me, it was him or nothing. I wasn't ready to die so my only choice was him.

I trudged up the stairs slowly it felt like death row, walking into something awful and scary. I came around the corner of the stairs and he was standing in front of me with a very scary look in his eyes.

"You want me Isabella?" He questioned. "" I stammered out. He shoved me against the wall and ripped my shirt up to my stomach. He reached down and ripped my underwear off and nestled his head in my neck. He kissed me up to my ear and I could feel what little I ate coming back up my throat.

"How bad Isabella tell me how bad you want me." He whispered in my ear. I couldn't hold back I leaned over and threw up on the floor as the disgust raged through my body.

The last thing I remember is him punching me against the wall and then I was falling into a dark abyss.


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

"Dr. Cullen we have a trauma coming in at bay one." Jane said. Another busy night in the ER. I was used to having multiple traumas per night. Working in the ER at the biggest hospital in Chicago, it was to be expected.

"Everybody ready? Do we have any information on what happened?" I asked

"The husband is with her she is a 25 year old female, apparently she fell down the stairs at her home. Unconscious and unresponsive is all the EMT's told me." Jane said looking over the note she had took down.

Suddenly the doors flew open and we grabbed the gurney. I looked down and saw the most beautiful face. She had long mahogany hair and the most beautiful skin, creamy and light. Her chest was rising and falling and could see the eye liner marks running down her cheeks from crying.

"Come on people she is way too young to go let's get her in the room now" I almost yelled. But it was the truth I would save her tonight I would give her life. It was my job everyday but for some reason with her lifeless body laying in front of me, I wanted nothing more than to see her eyes open and smile.

I notices a man coming in dressed in a suit behind her. "Sir are you the husband?" I asked. He looked at me with cold eyes and nodded. "What is her name and what happened" I questioned.

"Her name is Isabella and she fell down the stairs." He stated.

Well isn't he a gent I thought to myself. I walked up to her and whispered in her ear. "Bella, I am Dr. Cullen and we are going to get you all fixed up ok, I promise.

Her vitals looked good but she needed surgery immediately. "She has a fractured femur and maybe some internal bleeding Dave." I said handing her over to the surgical department. "And Dave, her name is Isabella will you please call me with an update."

I couldn't stop thinking about her the rest of the night. Her husband seemed like he didn't even care if she was ok. He acted so unresponsive when they brought her in. I told him of her injuries and he just said "um hm" like it was no big deal. To say I was confused was an understatement but being a doctor, you see a lot of things you don't understand.

"Dr. Cullen, Dave is on line one for you" Jane spoke.

"Dave do you have news on Isabella?" I said quickly. "The femur was broken we fixed it and got her in a cast. She also lacerated her spleen which we took care of. She is in the ICU she is just waking up if you would like to see her. "Be right up." I said as I hung up.

I jumped in the elevator to the fourth floor and the doors opened slowly. I walked to the desk and asked where her room was. "Room 407 Dr. Cullen" Jessica smiled. Eww Jessica why does she have to flirt so shamelessly. I walked down the hallway approaching her room. I quietly opened the door and looked into the most beautiful, sad, scared eyes I have ever seen. I shut the door and walked to her side, her eyes never leaving mine. She smiled lightly but it never quite reached her eyes.

"Hello Isabella my name is Dr. Cullen. Do you remember anything about what happened tonight? I asked gently.

Her eyes grew wide before she shook her head no. "Okay well you brought here by ambulance. Apparently you fell down the stairs at your home. You broke your leg and you lacerated your spleen. They fixed you all up in surgery so don't be worried. You'll just have to be in this cast for about six weeks." I stated.

"I.I.I fell down the stairs?" she questioned. "Well that is what your husband said when he brought you in." I immediately noticed the goose bumps on her arm and her eyes the fear that rose in her eyes. "Would you like me to get him for you" I asked?

"No please don't" she whimpered. "Isabella" "Please call me Bella, I hate the name Isabella." she said. "Oh I'm sorry that was the name your husband gave us" I smiled lightly.

"He would" she whispered. "Bella than, is everything ok you seem upset." I asked.

"I am fine, I have to be" she said as she turned her face away from me. "Could you just leave please" she asked. "Well yes of course I'm sorry you are probably exhausted I will check on you later ok." she looked back to me and then back to her lap and I walked out.

**BPOV**

I woke up in the a room with a faint light shining above me. I looked around surprised to see I was in a hospital. I heard the door open and I looked up to see the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. He was tall with bronze hair that was all over the place but looked amazing on him. He shut the door and walked over and I was confused who is this man I thought?

He introduced himself as Dr. Cullen the one who saved my life. He was gorgeous and as he spoke I just watched his lips move. Oh those lips. He told me I feel down the stairs and the memories flooded my mind. He was still speaking but I couldn't hear him anymore. I felt so scared remembering James punching me down the stairs. After I threw up he slammed be against the wall told me I was worthless and pushed me towards the stairs.

"Would you like me to get him?" He asked.

No please don't" I whimpered. "Isabella" "Please call me Bella, I hate the name Isabella." I said. "Oh I'm sorry that was the name your husband gave us" he smiled lightly.

"He would" I whispered. "Bella than, is everything ok you seem upset." he asked.

"I am fine, I have to be" I said as I turned my face away from him. "Could you just leave please" I asked. "Well yes of course I'm sorry you are probably exhausted I will check on you later ok." I looked at him and then back to my lap and he walked out.

What am I going to do? How am I going to get myself out of this situation? James could have killed me tonight, I wonder if he was trying too. I closed my eyes trying to figure out what to do before I slowly drifted into a fitful sleep of nightmares.

"Isabella, Isabella wake up now" I heard James say. I opened my eyes to see him standing over my bed. I immediately sunk deeper into the bed to get as far away from him as possible. "Did you open your mouth, did you say anything" he questioned.

"N. I said nothing" I quietly whispered. "Well that's a good thing my dear, finally using that brain of yours I see" he laughed. Just then the door opened and Dr. Cullen walked in.

"Well hello Bella how are you feeling this morning? Did you sleep well?" He asked I felt James' hand tighten around my arm when Dr. Cullen called me Bella, shit.

"Umm no I really didn't sleep well" I shrugged. "Are you in" He started to say before James interrupted him.

"When can I take Isabella home" he said emphasizing the Isabella part. "Well she will need to stay for a few days. We have to take off the temporary cast and get her fitted for the one she will wear for the next six weeks. I would say two maybe three days just to make sure her spleen is healing okay." He said

"Great" was all James said. "Well I have other patients just wanted to see how you were feeling Bella, please let me know if you need anything, anything at all." he said as he walked out of the room.

"Well Isabella getting cozy with the doc are you? You are a little whore. Even laying here in this hospital bed you are whoring around on me. I guess you haven't learned your lesson have you you little slut." He whispered into my ear.

I tensed up and immediately felt sick to my stomach. I reached my finger out and pressed the nurse call button quickly not letting James see my do it.

She popped thru the door and asked if I needed anything. "Actually yes could I get a drink please" I squeaked out. "James grabbed my face as soon as she left and squeezed hard. "I have to get to work, you better use that brain of yours bitch or you will pay" he looked into my eyes for a minute and then said "And the next time I will succeed.

With that he walked out nearly knocking over the nurse. "I apologized for his behavior and thanked her for the juice she brought me.

I laid there in silence wanting to scream for help but I knew I would pay with my life for that. I needed somebody, anybody right now. I quickly grabbed the phone and called Alice and Rose. I told them I feel down the stairs and of course they believed me because I was clumsy. They said they would be there soon to cheer me up. I pulled the covers up to my neck and waited hoping they would be there soon because I felt as if I was going to jump out of my skin.

I knew when they got there I needed to tell them, I had to tell someone. But then what if James hurt them for trying to help me. I couldn't let him hurt them.

I felt my eyelids closing and drifted off to sleep thinking about my best friends.


	3. Chapter 3

**BPOV**

"Bella oh my God are you ok" I heard Alice and Rose yell running thru the door. I lifted my head to seem the carrying balloons and flowers and running to my side. I told them about what happened to me and they just stared at me.

"Bella how did you fall down the stairs" Alice asked. Ok this was the moment do I say anything? I didn't want to risk my friends safety but I knew I couldn't get thru this on my own. I looked down to my lap as they both crossed their arms over their chest and looked at me. I t was worthless to lie to them anyway, they would know right away.

"Ok guys please you have to understand you cannot say anything my life depends on it" I started. They both looked at me and their smiles faded fast. "Every since James and I got married he has been acting weird. Very controlling and mean. I told them about a couple of nights ago and I swore Rose was about to punch the wall.

"He did what, Bella that is rape and he hit you" she tugged my shirt up to see the now very black bruises that covered my stomach and side. "What the fuck Bella why are you still with him? Why didn't you come to us we could have helped you.

I pleaded with them both "You guys don't get it he tried to kill me basically and told me that if I said a thing he would succeed the next time. He said if I told you guys he would hurt you. Please you have to understand you cannot say a thing. I will figure something out.

"Wait" Alice said. "He pushed you down the stairs?" I nodded my head "He was trying to have sex with me and I threw up and he got mad and pushed me down the stairs. Do you guys see how bad this is. He is not playing games. He told me if I try to leave I won't make it far. He will kill me I just don't know what to do.

Alice and Rose both threw their arms around me crying. "We will figure something out Bella" they both said. I finally let the tears freely fall down my face and cried because I knew in my heart I wouldn't be able to get away.

**EPOV**

I got to the hospital early for my shift and decided to go check on Bella. Something was odd when I left the day before. Her husband was so cold and when I called her Bella it almost looked like he gripped her arm hard and corrected me that her name was Isabella. She looked terrified with him standing next to her.

After going home I wondered what really happened that night at her house. Something was not right. She looked scared to death when I mentioned his name and then seeing her wince away from him I knew that she didn't just fall. I decided to come in early and speak with her about this. It wouldn't be the first time I had to talk to a woman about abuse. But with Bella she seemed so fragile. Why would anyone hurt her. I hated her husband for hurting her and I was determined to get to the bottom of this.

I stopped in the hallway noticing two girls walking into Bella's room. They had balloons and flowers and seemed excited to see her. One was short with spiky short brown hair. The other was tall and looked like a model with long blonde hair stretching down her back. I walked to the door and heard them talking about Bella falling and figured I would wait till they were done.

Then I heard Bella's voice "Ok guys please you have to understand you cannot say anything my life depends on it." I stood there listening to the whole conversation. The things he had done to her repulsed me and my fists clenched at my side. I'll kill him, how dare he ever treat a person this way. He pushed her down the stairs because the threw up due to the fact he was going to rape her, how does that make sense.

I heard her say she didn't know what to do and I heard all three of them crying. The force I had felt in the ER that night resurfaced and I knew I would do anything in my power to keep Bella safe. I would protect her. I don't know why but I was drawn to her and I could not stand by and let this continue. Whatever is takes I said to myself as I pushed the door open.

The three girls jumped and all looked up at me. "Good morning Bella" I said

"Oh ah good morning Dr. Cullen" she said lightly. "Please Bella call me Edward, may I have a moment alone with Bella ladies?"

They smiled and walked out wiping tears from their eyes and closed the door behind them. I pulled a chair over to Bella's bedside and sat down slowly trying to figure out how I was supposed to start.

"Bella I was standing outside waiting for your friends to leave to check on you and I ah heard everything" I said awkwardly. "Wait you were listening to my conversation, what did you hear" she said with a look of shock across her face.

"It wasn't like that Bella I shouldn't have listened to your conversation but I am damn glad I did now." I said starring at her.

"What did you hear" she asked again.

"All of it" I replied with a flash of anger on my face. She just stared at me and then her tears spilled over and she turned her face from me.

"Bella I'm sorry I didn't mean to ease drop but Bella this is not right you need to get out of this situation. Please look out me Bella" I leaned in closer.

"I am so ashamed" she said still looking away. "Bella look at me."

She turned and faced me and all I could see was a defeated woman, broke to her very core. In that moment I promised myself I would help her and make her life better. I would fix her, somehow I would fix her.

"Bella I want to help you. I want to help you get away from him." I said

"Why, why the fuck would you want to help me" she said "Look at me. I am broke beyond repair Edward just let me go back home so I can live what little bit of a life I have left."

"Bella I know you feel that way right now but I know you are more than this" I pointed at her "You don't see yourself very clearly do you?"

"Edward I cannot ask you to get involved or let you, he is bad, very bad I can't run he'll find me. He will hunt me down Edward do you get that? I am his till death do us part to quote him." she said tears still falling down her face.

"It doesn't have to be that way Bella, let me help you, protect you, and keep you safe." I said softly.

"And how do you plan on doing that Edward, care to let me in on it because right now I am scared to death for myself, for my friends, and for you. How can this get better Edward please explain that to me. How can you fix me as you say when I can't even fix myself?"

I reached over to lift her face to mine and she flinched away. What had this man done to her? I reached again and this time she let me touch her. I turned her face towards mine and said slowly "Bella I will do whatever it takes to see you happy again, I will keep you safe." I said slowly leaning down and kissing her top of her head.


	4. Chapter 4

**EPOV**

I left Bella's room and immediately got on the phone to my mother. Before My mother had met my father, she had been in a similar situation. Away at college she met my father and never looked back to those dark days of her life. I knew if anybody could help with Bella's situation it was my mother.

"Edward I'm so happy to hear from you," my mother answered. "Hi mom how are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh I'm fine just working on a layout for a new home I will be decorating. Edward is everything ok you don't sound right?" She asked. I told my mom about the situation Bella was in and immediately she wanted to do anything she could to help.

"Mom I just I need to help her. You should see her I barely reached my hand out to touch her and she flinched away. She is so broken right now but I know she used to be more than that, she needs someone to help her and I feel that I can." I was rambling but I just wanted to protect her.

"Let me speak with your father Edward we have your bedroom that is open and maybe she could stay with us for awhile. Seattle is a long way away from Chicago. The farther she gets away from him the better.

"Thanks mom I love you and just thank you," I hung up the phone and she said she would call me back soon to let me know. I already knew the answer though. My father being a doctor and a great man in general would have her in a minute in his home.

Walking back to Bella's room I felt almost a high from the fact that I knew she would be safe away from James. I knocked lightly on the door and heard Bella say "Come in."

I sat down beside Rose and explained to her what my mother offered. I told her a little about what my mother had experienced and knew it would make her feel more comfortable that she wasn't alone in this.

"Rose, Alice I need you guys to go to Bella's home and get everything she will need," I said. Before I could finish Bella said "No, they cannot go there and risk being found my James.

"It's ok Bella I am going to send my brothers over there to meet them and help. Jasper and Emmett will keep them safe I promise Bella. Plus it's only ten o clock he will still be at the office. We need to make this a clean break Jasper already got the tickets for our flight. We will be leaving at two today." I said watching her face closely.

"We?" she asked. "Yes Bella I am going with you, I have two weeks worth of vacation to use anyway. I can't hardly send you to my parents house without taking you there and making sure you are comfortable right," I asked slightly smiling.

"I guess your right I just can't help but feel I am messing things up for you. I mean you don't even know me and your parents, they are taking a complete stranger into their home. Why are you doing this for me Edward I don't get it," she said barely above a whisper. Even Rose and Alice looked at my probably wondering the same thing.

To be completely honest I didn't know why I was so drawn to Bella and why I felt the overwhelming need to protect her but I did and would stop at nothing to see her safe and happy again.

"Bella when I look at you I see a woman who once was happy and enjoyed life very much" I said walking slowly towards her. "You know as you say you are broken but I believe you can heal and I want to help you if you'll let me." I reached for her hand and she pulled away slightly. I touched my hands to hers and in that moment I felt a tingling running thru my fingers.

Her eyes widened, did she feel that? She pulled her hand away and rubbed it with the other one. "So we are leaving at two?" she questioned.

I nodded my head and told her to get her things together and that the nurse would be in soon with her discharge papers. I couldn't wait to get her out of this place. Away from James so that he could not hurt her again. The situation with James was dangerous to say the least and the sooner she was away from him the better.

It was one and we would be heading out soon. I stepped out into the hall while the nurse checked Bella's vitals and had her sign her discharge papers. Pinching the bridge of my nose I sighed knowing that she would be safe soon. I looked up and there coming down the hall was James. "Fuck" I whispered. Great what am I supposed to say he can't see her or he will know something is wrong. Bella's eyes gave every emotion she was feeling away and I knew he could not see her.

"Is Bella in her room?" James said eyeing me. Shit what do I say he can't see her.

"Actually no she is downstairs having her incisions checked" I said. Just then the nurse walked out of Bella's room. Quickly I looked at her "Thank you for changing her sheets Marie um this is Bella's husband James I was just telling him that Bella was downstairs do you know when she will be back?" I asked hoping she understood what I was doing.

"Um yeah I'm not actually sure. I would say she should probably be back in about an hour and a half or so I would imagine. Would you like me to take James downstairs to the waiting area there?" She questioned me looking puzzled. "Yeah that would be great. Follow Marie here James and she will take you to were Bella is." I smiled.

I watched as they walked away and I noticed James look back at me with his eyes raging. He looked confused and angry and I think he knew something wasn't right. Oh well he would be gone long enough for me to get Bella out of here. After they disappeared around the corner I slipped into Bella's room.

She turned quickly and her eyes immediately looked scared. She looked at me and her eyes and her face immediately became calm. I walked towards her and reached for her bags on the bed.

"I thought we weren't leaving for like another forty-five minutes," she asked looking at me slightly confused. I didn't want to scare her but I knew I could not keep anything from her. It would be unfair for her to not know he was just here.

"James was just here," I sighed I watched her face tighten and her eyes immediately looked dead. "Listen I took care of it. But we need to go now before he comes back ok. It's alright Bella I am here for you, I won't let anything happen to you I promise Bella."

Before I could say another she was grabbing her bag and walking towards the door. I noticed immediately that her hands were shaking as she tried to hold her bag. "Let me get that for you," I smiled trying to break the tension that had suddenly filled the room. She smiled lightly and handed me the bag.

"You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," she said as we walked to the door.

I peeked out the door before walking out quickly with Bella close behind. As we slipped into my Volvo and drove away towards the airport I watched her relax into the seat. We sat in silence the whole way to the airport but it was a comfortable silence.

I grabbed her bag out of the trunk and we headed into the airport. We made it through security and we were then boarding the plane. As we sat in our seats I watched Bella. She was looking out her window hands starting to shake again.

"Bella are you nervous about the flight," I questioned. "Um no this is just all a lot to take in Edward, I'll be fine I just want to get in the air." she said never looking away from the window.

I gently placed my hand on top of hers and she winced but allowed to stay there. "Your safe now Bella," was all I said as we started to taxi around the runway.

Within minutes of take off Bella was asleep slightly leaning against the window. I watched her face as she slept and she looked absolutely beautiful. Her bottom lip curled a little and then feel to a small smile. Her lips were amazing, they were soft and it was nice to see them without her biting through the bottom one. I suddenly felt myself licking my own lips staring at her. Yea that's right Cullen, act like a damn pervert. What was wrong with me? She is so scared right now and I'm sitting next to her licking my lips wanting nothing more than to feel them on my own.

Get it together ass, she doesn't need you complicating her already complicate life. I couldn't help but feel for her. It hadn't stopped since that first night she came into my E.R. I had an overwhelming concern for her more than anyone before her. I felt a pull towards her and wanted to be close to her and keep her safe. There was also that spark that I felt tingling in my fingers at this very moment as I looked at our hands. In her sleep she had grabbed hold of my hand.

She laced her fingers into mine and they hadn't moved since. I just looked at them and wished I could hold her hand just like this all the time. The rest of the flight I just held her hand and looked down at her watching her sleep peacefully.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok so I hope everyone is enjoying my story so far. This is my attempt at fanfic I read it constantly and thought I had mine as well try to bring my thoughts to life and put this story on paper, well a computer screen anyway lol! Please let me know what you think and thanks for taking time to read it it means a lot to me!**

**BPOV**

I felt arms around my waist and I immediately stiffened into my seat the fear was enveloping me and I felt my chest start to heave. It was all a dream. Edward wasn't real. I had only dreamed of him taking me away to a safe place. The words he said echoing in my mind. I'll keep you safe, no one will hurt you now, his hand on mine saying you're safe now. It was all a dream. A dream that I didn't want to end. I wanted to be safe and I wanted to be with Edward. Well not that way I mean of course who wouldn't want to be with him that way. He was amazingly beautiful. Perfect jaw line, crazy wild bronze hair that begged to have fingers run through it, and those lips. Oh my God to have those lips anywhere close to mine would be amazing. I had to pull myself away from those thoughts.

I knew in my state of mind that we be no good. Edward was just helping me. His mother had been in a similar situation and he was just trying to help me. I was a broken, scared, shell of who I used to be and no one in their right mind would want to be anywhere near me. Who would ever want to get close to me, I was damaged and I knew it. I squeezed my eyes shut harder not wanting to wake from this dream yet. I pictured Edwards face a couple more times and imagined I met him first. We were walking through a beautiful field filled with flowers hand in hand laughing. He pulled me close and leaned to grab my face in his hands and place a small gentle kiss against my lips.

"Edward" I sighed.

I heard a throat clear and Edward was gone. My mind was black and I knew I better open my eyes now or I would pay. I opened my eyes and it was dark. I looked around still dazed and half asleep. I rubbed my eyes and realized I was on a plane. It wasn't a dream, Edward was real. I looked over and smiled. I really smiled not a fake one that I had plastered on the last couple of months, no a real one. I stared into his eyes and watched his lips curl at the sides.

"You should do that much more often," Edward said smiling back at me. I blushed of course, damn traitor blush, and I quickly looked down. God get a hold of yourself Bella I thought to myself. This man in all his perfection would never want me. Not that I would ever even be in a league to deserve a man like him but I could always dream right. I looked down into my lap and out of the corner of my eye I noticed that my fingers were intertwined with Edwards. If I thought I was blushing before, I can't imagine the color I was now. I quickly looked up into his eyes. He smiled and squeezed my hand lightly.

There it was again that smile that real genuine smile. I saw a glint in his eyes as the smile launched itself across my face.

"Between your smile and that blush, I can't figure out which is more beautiful," he said quietly smiling even bigger at me. Was he flirting with me? No he couldn't be, why would he be. He's just trying to make me feel better that's all. Silly Bella you will never have something as perfect as that in your life, don't even think about it.

"Well honestly it feels good to actually smile, I haven't done that in awhile," I said being honest with not only him but myself. I could feel the fear leaving my body knowing that I actually felt safe sitting here with Edward.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, we are getting ready to land and I didn't want to wake you so I buckled your seat belt for you." He said looking slightly nervous.

"No that is fine really thank you for…just everything Edward really just thank you" I some home managed to squeak out. He was so genuine and seemed to really care. Even if it was just in my own mind I was going to enjoy Edward because I know someone like him will never be in my life again. I vowed as the plane touched down that I was taking my life back into my hands. A clean slate so to say, I would not hide behind my fears anymore. I wanted to be alive again and Edward Cullen was already making me feel that way.

We walked off the plane and made our way to the baggage claim to grab our bags.

"Rose and Alice will be here in a few days with the rest of your things Bella. They are safe they got in and out of the house safely and got all of your belongings."

"Edward I I I thank you," I said knowing that the word couldn't even sum up what I was feeling but words just weren't enough.

He placed his hand on the small of my back and smiled at me as we made our way to the rental car. I sat down and looked around as we drove to my new temporary home. As we drove out of the city limits of Seattle I looked around at the beautiful blanket of snow that lay on the ground. It was so wonderful. A beautiful blanket to cover the ugly ground that winter brought with it. That was what I needed, a beautiful blanket to cover me and clean away the ugliness that had invaded my life.

"My mother has everything set up for you Bella, you are more than welcome to stay as long as you need, actually she insists you stay for awhile." He said.

"She sounds wonderful Edward, I don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough for all you are doing for me" I said honestly. Feeling my blush creep up my face again.

"That smile that I saw today is plenty enough of a thank you Bella" he replied softly.

I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled again "I will make this up to you somehow I promise" I said smirking at him.

His hand came down and he gently laced his fingers into mine. Hello again blush. He just looked at me smiling "You already have Bella, you already have" he whispered.

We pulled up in front of a big house well if you could call it that. It looked more like a mansion nestled perfectly into the middle of nowhere.

I stepped out and Edward grabbed my bags. We walked towards the front door, it opened suddenly and standing in front of me was a beautiful woman. She was small and amazingly beautiful. Of course Edward's mom would be gorgeous look at him.

She walked towards me slowly and gently extended her arms to me. Before I even realized what I was doing I practically ran the short distance to her and hugged her tightly. Tears welled up in my eyes as she rubbed her small hands on my back and kissed my head.

"Your safe now Bella" was all she kept saying in a whispered voice. I didn't want to let go of her and she knew so she continued to just hold me. God I needed this so bad. It hurt so much knowing my own mother was gone, but holding on to Esme made me feel slightly whole like I had some form of a mother in that moment.

I pulled back and smiled at her slightly. She brushed the tears away from my face and smiled "Let's get you inside dear I'm sure you are tired."

I looked back to Edward and he was smiling wide, obviously due to the fact that his mother and I were going to get along great. I smiled back as he waved me into the house.

The house was amazing to say the least. It was open and lavishly decorated with expensive furniture that complimented every room. Esme walked up the stairs holding my hand. She stopped in front of a door and opened it.

"This is your room dear, I hope everything is to your liking" she said turning to face me "You are welcome here for as long as you need dear. We have plenty of space and I could use the company," she giggled.

"This is beautiful Esme really more than I could ever ask for I.I feel like thank you is just not enough for your family. I appreciate all of this so much." I replied.

"No thank you's needed dear were just glad you're safe," she said glancing at Edward.

Edward walked in laying my bag down on the bed before Esme walked away and told me she was going to make dinner and to come down when I was ready.

I stepped towards my bed and ran my hands across the comforter. It was beautiful like everything else in the house probably expensive too, great one more thing to make me feel bad about.

"My mom bought you some clothes to last you till the girls get here with the rest of your belongings," Edward said smiling.

"Great I already own you guys so much I just don't want to be a bother on you or your family," I said truthfully.

"Bella if it helps when you get on your feet you can pay us back but it is not needed. Money really isn't an issue in this family," he said looking slightly embarrassed "Really it's no problem at all we want you here. I looked at him slightly confused, he wanted me here. Of course because he was worried about my safety that's the only reason Bella I told myself.

Edward walked slowly towards me, the closer he got the more red I turned.

He lifted his eyebrow slightly asking if it was ok for him to get close without saying the words. I nodded my head and he wrapped me his arms. "Bella I will see you happy again, I want to the see the woman you were before all this shit happened. I know I can't change it, but I want to make it go away for you so bad." He said rubbing soft circles with his fingers on my back.

I broke down and sobbed into his shoulder just letting everything go in that moment. I knew a breakdown was coming but I thought it would happen when I was alone. But with Edwards arms wrapped around me in a manner that I could not put my finger on I lost it.

He held me tighter and gently kissed my forehead just letting me cry. He didn't ask for answers or make me speak he just held me as I cried and let it all out in front of him. All he said is "I'm here for you Bella whenever you need me." He kept his lips on my forehead and gently rocked me as reality disappeared and I allowed myself to feel all the pain for the first time since it started.


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh my God guys the reviews are great and I am so glad that you all are liking my story so much. I am trying to update a bunch today because these two are running miles in my head. I hate to lose anything I think so I am writing like a mad woman lol! I hope you like this chapter it is going to be intense but it is needed so bear with me** **and wear your big girl panties, you'll need them!**

**EPOV**

I felt Bella's body go limp in my arms as her knees gave out. I slowly brought us both to the floor never letting her go of her. She wrapped her arms tightly around me and crawled into my lap straddling me with her legs. She was crying so bad, but I knew this was coming. It was part of healing and the enormity of the situation would have to hit her at some point. I knew though that there was no one else I wanted her to be with when it happened. I wanted to be there for her thru it all.

"Edward I just why, why would he do this to me? I never did anything to deserve it. Why did it all change after we were married? It was almost immediately afterward, he started yelling at me and calling me names. I figured things were just bad at the office so I threw it off as stress and didn't think much more about it. But that night Edward that night I have never been so scared in my life." She cried out to me. I knew the questions were not for me to answer all I needed to do was listen but I wanted to know what happened to her.

"Bella, can you please tell me what happened," I questioned. She looked at me and took a deep breath.

She told me of how he had punched her in the stomach and raped her after he beat her.

"I was laying in the bed my whole body shaking, he walked over slowly and started running his fingers up my legs. I shook violently as the sobs racked my body. He grabbed my face and squeezed hard, he told me that if I didn't shut up he would make it so much worse. He he he grabbed me roughly squeezing my thighs hard. He brought his hands to my face and slapped me hard and I immediately tasted blood. He flipped me over and told me to get on my hands and knees. Grabbing my hair and ripping my head back he punched me in the side and told me I was a whore and this is how I liked it." She choked out that last part and my fists were wound so tight it hurt. My God why would anybody do this to her she was beautiful and not just physically, from what I had seen so far she was loving, and feisty, and just a damn good person.

"Fuck" I hissed

"I'm sorry Bella, dammit I wish I could just take it away. I actually wish I could beat the shit out of him to be honest. I wish I could kill him for what he was doing to you." I seethed.

"The worst part was he made me beg for it," she sniffled.

"Excuse me, he did what." I almost yelled

"He he made me tell him I wanted him to rape me, to take me hard and hurt me. I was crying so hard and he told me to keep crying because he knew he was hurting me and that's what he wanted. It lasted so long and by the time it was over I could barely walk to the bathroom."

"Bella I'm going to….." I pulled her off my lap and ran to the bathroom barely making it there in time before the bile rose up. I leaned over the toilet heaving as the mental picture in my head replayed over and over. All I could hear in my ears was Bella's cries, and those sickening words of her asking him to rape her. What a sick fuck this man was. I heaved again as her memories washed thru me again.

"Edward are you ok…I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." She said from the bathroom door.

"Fuck Bella, upset me, my God I literally just became physically sick over what you had to go thru and your apologizing to me?" I asked.

"I just I'm sorry for you, and for me, and for people all over that endure this shit" she cried.

"He is a sick fuck Bella, something is really wrong with him. I swear when I find him I am going to rip him limb from limb. I am going to make him suffer so much" I breathed out heavily.

"No Edward please I don't ever want you around him. I know your strong and everything but Edward you are important to me and I couldn't imagine something happening to you" she sobbed.

"Bella I can't promise you anything when it comes to James because I honestly don't believe I could control myself," I said to her honestly. "Bella was that all that happened that night?

She looked up at me eyes full of tears before I scooped her up and walked to the bed with her. I sat her on my lap sideways and wrapped my arms around her once more. She needed to get it all out on the table now, she needed to get past it and this was the first step in that process. Even though I didn't want to listen to anymore I knew she needed to get it out.

"I I went to the bathroom afterwards and just laid on the floor. The inside of my lip was bleeding and I quickly got up to grab a washcloth. When I saw myself naked in front of the mirror I threw up almost immediately. I had big bruises and welts all over my body from the multiple hits I took that night. There was blood on the floor and I realized it was coming from between my legs. I turned on the shower and crawled in and cried until the water turned cold and then got out only to lay on the floor again under my robe and cry. The tears were gone but the pain was not." She sniffed.

"He came in, in the middle of the night and kicked me to the side so that he could go to the bathroom. The only thing he said to me was that I was a fucking dirty whore and I liked what he did to me. He said if I didn't he could take care of me quickly and find someone who would. I just nodded and said I liked it so he would leave me alone. He kissed my forehead and said that's my little slut and walked away.

She started to cry hard again and I held her close to me. She had fallen asleep and I just continued to hold her and rock her gently. I could barely see thru my eyes because of the tears that were spilling out. Anger, rage, and sadness were running thru me and it was just too much so I cried. I heard a small noise and looked up to see my mother standing in the doorway of Bella's room, tears streaming down her face as she looked at me.

I gently laid Bella down on the bed and pulled the comforter up to her shoulders, I kissed her forehead and whispered "your safe now" into her ear. I walked out and silently closed the door. My mother grabbed me and hugged me, pulling me close as a few more tears escaped.

"Edward you are amazing do you know that" she said. "She needed that so bad and you were there for her. Edward why do I feel like there is something you're not telling me?" she asked.

"Mom she is really important I can't explain it really I just feel so drawn to her, I want to make her happy mom, I want to be the kind of man she needs. I want to be better for her, see her smile, watch her eyes light up. I want to be there and be the reason for it all." I whispered.

"Edward I see the way you look at her and I understand completely. You need to speak to your father about this. He is the one that was there for me and I believe he can help you more than I can. The only advice I can give you is take your time with her Edward. I can see that you like her but she needs time to deal. Be there to help her thru the bad times and you will see you will gain many good times by taking your time with her." She whispered to me.

I started to hug her when I heard Bella screaming from the bedroom. Without a thought I ran in the room and grabbed her up in my arms.

"It's ok baby I'm her. It's Edward you are safe I've got you." I whispered into her ear. She smiled thru her tears and closed her eyes. I leaned back on the headboard and Bella's arms snaked around my stomach laying her head on my chest as she drifted back to sleep. I just laid there thinking about how she looked when I came in the room. She was clutching her pillow and the look of pure terror in her eyes was painful to see. She was screaming out and crying.

I wanted James to pay for everything he ever did to her it was not fair for her to be like this, she deserved so much more, and I hoped with everything in me that I would could be and would be that for her. I just have to take it slowly like my mom said. The feelings I already was feeling were like anything I had ever experienced with anyone.

I was taken out of my thought when I looked down at Bella mumbling in her sleep. I was waiting for her to scream again but she took a deep breath then a small smile crossed her lips and she whispered "Edward." That was the second time she had whispered my name. This time the smile that feel on her lips along with whispering my name made my heart flutter. She was dreaming about me. I closed my eyes and drifted off into my dreams that were filled with Bella and I together.


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow writing a lot today. Already finished chapter 4 and 5 and I am no working on 6. Edward and Bella have had a lot to say to me today lol! I hope you enjoy it and keep the reviews coming I love getting your feedback. Tell me if you think there is anything I should change or whatever, I'll take it all!**

**BPOV**

I awoke to a small ray of light coming thru the blinds right to my eyes. I squinted and try to rolled over only to feel warm arms hold me tighter to his body. I glanced up and saw Edward. He looked completely uncomfortable leaning halfway down the headboard. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and I was laying on his chest. My heart swelled from the fact that he stayed with me. I was crying and losing grip on reality and Edward stayed. Not only did he stay but he held me and comforted me.

I just laid there breathing in his scent, letting it intoxicate me. I ran my finger down the veins I his arms and watched as the goose bumps appeared on his arms.

"Good morning baby" Edward said groggily Did he just call me baby? No he must just still be asleep I mean really he couldn't have said that meaning it? Could he have?

"Good morning," I said shyly blushing at the fact he had called me baby. No matter the reason he had said it, I found that I liked it and I wanted him to say it again.

"You hungry?" He asked. "Actually yes, I'm starved would you like me to make something?" I asked.

"Bella you're a guest here, guests don't cook" He laughed.

"Well since I'm temporary living here I can't really be considered a guest, plus I would love to make you some french toast, ya know start making up for everything you have done for me." I giggled.

"Bella I told you, you don't have to do anything for me or my family but if you really want to cook breakfast who am I to stand in your way." he snorted.

"Ok then french toast is it, oh and Edward," she sighed "Yes"

"Thank you again for everything, but last night I I really needed that. Thank you for staying with me and making me feel safe Edward. I haven't slept that well in a long time," she giggled walking out the door.

I wasn't lying I hadn't slept that well in a long time. It was nice to wake up this morning feeling fully rested. I remembered a splint second of one of my nightmares, but then it was replaced with Edward's voice, his smell, his body….Oh God his body. I could feel it underneath me. He was fit, not overly muscled and gross but toned and for sure had abs. Ok I need to stop thinking that way but it was hard not to I mean he is gorgeous, caring, sweet, attentive, thoughtful, selfless…. the list goes on and on. How as a woman can I not be attracted to that, to him, to perfection.

I walked into the kitchen and I was so excited about making Edward breakfast. I love to cook, I always have it was something my mother and I did before she died.

My mom died when I was sixteen. She had gotten hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. I still wasn't completely over my mother and I knew I never would be. a big part of me would always miss her and wish she were here but I was coping a lot better now than I did before. Well at least I was until James started his shit. Memories of my mother flooding my head wishing she was there to take me away.

I think that is why when I saw Esme I lost it the way I had. I needed a mother in that moment and even though Esme wasn't mine I could pretend for just a moment she cared for me like a mother would a child.

"Bella" Esme's voice quietly called.

I jumped "In the kitchen Esme."

"Well good morning Bella, are you hungry anything in the kitchen is yours." she spoke softly.

"Well thank you, and yes actually I am hungry. I came down to cook Edward and I some french toast."

"Oh Bella you are our guest, you don't have to cook. Where is Edward's manners I know I taught him better than that," she complained.

"Oh no believe me he tried to talk me out of it , but really I love to cook. I used to do it with my mom all the time every since I was little" I tried to smile.

"Bella if I may ask where are your parents and do they know what has been going on?"

"Umm yeah well my mother died when I was sixteen, a drunk driver hit her on her way home from work" I barely whispered the next part "She died instantly." I could think about it but when it came to saying those words out loud I still got chocked up every time.

"Oh Bella I am so sorry, I had no idea." she said obviously feeling bad.

"It's ok Esme it was almost ten years ago now. Ah my dad is Charlie and he lives in Chicago, he is a the police chief of a small town outside Chicago. I talk to him usually every couple of weeks. He is a man of very few words especially after my mom passed away. I know he loves me but I think he has a hard time seeing me and hearing my voice because all he does is look at me funny, and say how much like her I am. Then he walks away and that's the end of the conversation.

"So who do you talk to sweetie, who are you close with?" she asked sounding concerned

"Well Rose and Alice are my best friends I have known them forever and they are fantastic. Always there for me whenever I need them and vice versa. They are pretty much my sisters.

"So did you tell them about the things that were happening with James" she barely whispered his name.

"Actually no, I hadn't really been talking to them as much, James" I hissed his name "kinda quit letting me see them as much. I should have seen the signs but I thought he just wanted to spend time with me. I guess hind sight is always 20/20" I said with a chuckle.

"Honey you don't have to tell me anything and if you choose too you do that in your own time ok dear. Just know that I have experienced what you have and it does get better. I met Carlisle shortly after I ran from Aro. He was a breath of fresh air in my closed and hardly existent life. We became inseparable and we have been together ever since. We had Emmett, Jasper, and Edward and honestly Bella I am happy. I still will never forget what happened to me, but I have learned to move on and life is great now. Just know Bella it will get better and you can move on and be happy in your life. You hold the control over your happiness, not him." she said.

"Thank you Esme, I I really enjoy talking to you. You make me feel like I have a mother again and that feels really, really great." I smiled

She hugged me and said she had some errands to run but would be home this evening. I watched her walk out the door and waved and turned around to start breakfast. She is amazing I thought to myself while grabbing the ingredients I needed. She was right I controlled my life and my happiness and I was going to take that control back now. I knew what I needed to do.

"Edward breakfast is ready" I called up the stairs. I heard him moving across the floor and down the stairs. We sat in silence for a couple minutes just eating.

"Edward"

"Yeah" he replied

"Do you or your family know any good attorney's?" I asked.

"Um yeah of course I mean for what exactly?" he questioned.

"I want to get the papers drawn up for my divorce right away." I smiled back

"Bella that is fantastic, I mean well you know what I mean. By the way this french toast is amazing." he smiled and laughed. "I can take you to see them whenever you want. Are you sure your ready for the step Bella, there's no hurry ya know."

"I talked to your mom this morning and she reminded me that I am control of my life and my happiness Edward. I want to be happy and I am taking the control back. James has taken enough from me and controlled me for the last time. I'm taking everything back Edward, everything that belongs to me." I breathed out with a smile.

"Well I am so happy for you Bella" Edward said as he hugged me tightly.

We spent the rest of the day watching movies and talking just really getting to know each other. I now knew just how much more amazing he was. Everything knew I learned about him made him that much more interesting. He was sitting next to me on the couch when he fell asleep. I couldn't hardly blame him. He was up so late with me and who knows when he finally fell asleep. He kept falling sideways until his head was in my lap.

He was just sleeping but his head being in my lap made me uncomfortable. Not in a bad way by any means, it just made me yearn for a relationship where I had this. I already felt so comfortable with Edward and even thru the pain and the sadness I experienced I the last few days, I was falling for Edward. I was lacking this connection in my life and in my marriage and like a knight in shining armor from the fairy tales, Edward was here making me feel good again.

I knew I couldn't be anything more for Edward than a charity case, but I wanted to submerse myself in the feelings I had for him. I wanted him close to me and I would enjoy it for as long as I could before he had to get back to the real world where the two of us just wouldn't work.

I awoke to Esme shaking me gently. "Bella dear you guys want to get up and come have some dinner?" she asked. "Umm yea, let me wake up Edward and we'll be right there."

I looked up to see the t.v. was a blue screen and it was dark outside. I wondered how long we had been asleep. I looked down and had to choke back the giggle that was overtaking my body. Edward was face down basically in my crotch snuggled up tightly to me leg. His arm was wrapped around my back while the other was wrapped around my thigh. Well I'm sure this looked awful and Esme saw, great.

"Umm Edward your moms home and dinner is ready" I mumbled through my giggling.

He shifted a little and moaned and it went straight through me. The giggling stopped immediately and all I felt was lust take over. I had to clear my head before I jumped him. That sound was just way to sexy. Edward Cullen was going to be the death of me.

He turned his head and opened his eyes slowly. His eyes then pretty much popped out of his head when he realized how he was laying which made me giggle again. He sat up quickly looking at me.

"Bella I am so sorry, If I made you uncomfortable, well fuck, I'm sorry ok." he said

I just laughed, "Edward it's fine I was actually really comfortable," I smiled back. Oh my God I'm flirting with him, Bella what are you doing and where did that come from. I was never one to be forward about my feelings or interest in another person so I was both excited and nervous about my new revelation.

He just looked at me for a second before a slow smile crept across his face. "Well than I'm not sorry at all." was all he said before he grabbed my hand and lead me to the kitchen. The blush on my face could have been seen from a mile away but I didn't care. I flirted with Edward accidentally and he flirted back. I could die a happy woman.

We ate quickly and I went up stairs to take a bath. Edward smirked handing me bubbles and told me to "have fun" what is that supposed to mean?

I took of my clothes and looked in the mirror seeing the bruises still scattered across my body. "Fuck you James" I yelled into the mirror. I slipped into the tub and laid there quietly letting thoughts of Edward and I swirl through my head.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok the reviews are great and I am so happy that people like what I am writing. Of course I don't own the characters but I wish I did (especially Edward) lol but since that will never happen I can write them into my own little stories. I am updating a lot today but the response is awesome and I just want to give you guys more so hear you are Chapter 8! By the way I don't do play lists very often but if you can listen to Colorblind by Counting Crows it will be much better!**

**EPOV**

I heard Bella start her bath water as I walked to my room. I was so embarrassed when I woke up and realized I was face down in her lap. I mean come on does that even happen? Yes yes it does or at least it does to me anyway. The thing that shocked me even more was when Bella had flirted with me. She said she was actually really comfortable. That is flirting or at least I think it was. So I teased her back because honestly if she didn't mind, I knew I sure and the hell didn't.

I walked to her door and knocked lightly when I heard the tub draining. She answered the door "come on in."

I walked in and my mouth was probably hanging open but I couldn't care in that moment. She was standing there in the smallest pair of shorts made on earth with a tiny tank top that was held up only by tiny little straps that would surely break very easy. I felt my dick harden as I stared at her from across the room.

"What?" she asked looking at me.

"Ugh nothing Bella I just wanted to see how your bath was?" did I just fucking say that jeeze Edward sound a little more like a pervert why don't ya.

"Umm it was fine, very relaxing. Thanks for the bubbles they were perfect," she said with a wink.

This woman standing in front of me had no idea what she was doing to me, or did she? No she couldn't Bella had been thru hell and back what would she want with me. Slowly my mother had said. I mentally scolded my cock for not thinking slowly. Yeah like that was going to help. Not with Bella standing ten feet away from me dressed like she was.

"Oh well I figured they would help you relax, plus the remind me of how you smell, like lilac" I said immediately realizing I had just inserted my foot in my mouth.

"Really you've noticed how I smell," she looked at me puzzled, "Well that's good to know, and Edward" she was only a few feet from now "You smell pretty damn good too!"

Oh my God Bella was going to be the death of me.

"About early on the couch Bella," I said trying to stop thinking about those clothes she was wearing.

"M hmm" she replied

"I really did not mean to the do that and if I made you uncomfortable I just really want you to tell me because that is the last thing I want to do. I care about you Bella I want to make sure you are always comfortable with me." more verbal vomit I thought to myself.

"Edward I care about you too, probably more than I should. I know I never will be the kind of girl you need or want, but right here and right now the world disappears when I am with you" she was against me now I could feel her nipples harden through her shirt as our bodies touched. "I need to forget Edward, I need to replace my bad memories with good ones" she whispered into my ear.

Before I could think I grabbed her face in my hands and kissed her, immediately my lips burned with the tingling sensation that was coursing off of Bella's lips. She shoved her fingers into my hair and started tangling her fingers around it. My hips naturally bucked into her and she hitched her leg onto my thigh. I picked up her other leg slinging around me never breaking our lips for a second. I walked across the room just as she licked my bottom lip signaling me to open my mouth. I gladly let her in as out tongue's collided and I bucked against her again.

Her hands were under my shirt now lightly scratching her nails down my back and chest. The passion in this moment was one I had never felt. I've had sex with more than a few woman and never did it ever feel like this. The need that was coursing thru my body was almost too much to handle. I had never needed someone in my life but right now I needed Bella.

I laid her down on the bed and starting kissing and licking down her neck. She moaned and I bucked against her again because my God that was the sexiest noise I had ever heard. I grabbed the edge's of her shirt and looked at her to ask if it was ok she nodded biting her lip and making me need her even more. I pulled of the tiny tank top and she wasn't wearing a bra. I leaned down and lightly traced my tongue around her nipple before sucking it into my mouth. She moaned and fisted my hair. I gently grabbed her other breast and rubbed her nipple in my fingers gently tugging on it.

She grabbed the edges of my shirt and pulled it off only breaking our contact long enough to pull it over my head. She grabbed my had and crashed her lips into mine again. The feel of her bare skin on mine was mind blowing. I was tingling everywhere are skin touched. She reached down unbuttoned my pants and pulled down the zipper. I felt her hand brush against me as I bucked into her again. I kicked my pants and boxers down my legs and when I came back down to lay on her, the only thing separating us was her small shorts.

"Bella I need you, I don't want to if you don't. I can't ever hurt you Bella so please tell me now to stop. I said barely breathing. I have never needed a woman and have certainly never said those words to a woman but saying them to Bella felt so right. I did need her. Not just now I needed her always. I had never believed in love at first sight but with Bella loving her seemed so easy. She was everything I needed in a woman all I would ever need. My thoughts drifted back to what she had said before this started. She needed to forget, replace bad memories with good ones.

"Bella I can't do this, I can't take James away. I can't take what he did to you away. I can't be with you like this just to erase him and what he did.

I looked down and saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Bella I hope you understand. I want and need you in every sense of the words want and need. You make me want to be a better man for you. I want to be what you need Bella, I think I am falling in love with you. I've thought it since the moment you came into my hospital. Bella you are amazing and everything a man could ask for. A massive asshole fucked you over Bella, and I won't be like him. I won't be with you to fix you, you don't need that you are strong and you will fix yourself. I want to be with you Bella as, a friend, as a boyfriend, and as a lover but only if and when you want that too.

I pulled away and grabbed my clothes I pulled my pants on and started buttoning them. I walked across the room and opened the door. "Goodnight Bella, I'm sorry."

**BPOV**

I laid there panting and crying as I watched him shut the door. I just laid there taking in everything he had said. He wanted me in all the same ways I wanted him. I was just too big of a pussy to say it to him. Instead I used the stupid excuse of needed to erase my memories. I knew they would never go away. Yes I could replace my last memories of sex with James with new experiences but they would always lay dormant in the back of my mind. What the fuck is wrong with me. I needed to tell Edward how I felt that I needed him and wanted him as much as he did me. I was falling in love with Edward. It took him telling me this and walking away for me to realize. I think I really fell in love with him in that moment though. He poured his heart out to me and thought about me over himself. No one had ever done that for me.

I stood up and thru my tank top back on determined to make this right. I quietly closed my door as I headed to his. I didn't knock I just quietly opened the door and walked in. He was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands mumbling.

I silently walked over and leaned down to his ear "I'm in love with you too you know."I smiled.

He jumped and looked at me. He just stared at me not saying anything just looking into my eyes. Good because my eyes always gave me away and I knew he would see the truth in them. He stood up to stand in front of me holding my face in his hands.

"Bella forget falling I am in love with you, I love everything about you. You are amazing and you don't even really know it do you?" He questioned.

"Edward I love you in the bedroom my mind just couldn't grasp what you said. Why would someone like you want someone like me. You could have anyone you want. I don't fit with you, into your life."

"Bella you are so silly you are living with my parents, no matter what the circumstance, my mother loves you. I spend every minute I can with you even at the hospital I was coming in early and staying late just to see you Bella. You fit with me perfectly you are everything I could ever want and need. You are my life now Bella, so how could you be my life, my everything and not fit into it," He smirked.

I pulled my shirt over my head and lowered my hands to his jeans. I unbuttoned and unzipped them again pulling them down as he stepped out of them. I reached back up and gently took his face in my hands. "I love you Edward" I whispered before I kissed him gently. He reached around me and caressed my back trailing his fingers down till he reached my underwear. He slowly pulled them down my legs and kissed up my body as he stood back up he leaned me back and laid me on his bed. I felt him rub against me and I moaned softly from the intense tingling that was overwhelming my body from his touch.

He reached into his drawer and pulled out a condom. I reached my hand up and pulled it away. "I'm on birth control, I want to feel you Edward. I am ready!"

He reached back down and smiled kissing me passionately while ever so slightly easing himself into me. I moaned loudly into his mouth when he was finally all the way filling me. He stayed there just letting me get used to it to make sure I was ok. The tears started to roll down my cheeks.

"Bella are you ok? Am I hurting you please Bella we can stop." he asked quickly.

"I'm fine you're not hurting me, I just it's never felt like this before Edward. It feels so amazing and so emotional to make love to you. These are happy tears I am so happy right now."

He kissed me gently while he started moving in and out of me in a slow rhythm. It felt so amazing. I wasn't making love with my body right now, I was making love with my heart. I felt the sensation in my stomach as I neared my orgasm. Edward was speeding up now moving faster and harder into me but it wasn't hurting me it was amazing. I tightened my mouth on his as my orgasm hit me harder than ever before I screamed his name into his mouth and he just held me tight right as he moaned my name.

He just laid there not moving which was fine with me because I never wanted to let this feeling go. I felt so loved. I had just made love to the most wonderful amazing man and he loved me. I could stay here forever and I would be great. He finally pulled away only to role me on my side and hold me from behind.

"I love you" he whispered into my ear, "And may I add that I have never made love to anyone in my life like that, you are amazing my dear Bella and I love you, I love you, I love you so much!"

I giggled at his eagerness "I love you too, god that does feel good to say doesn't it. I love you Edward unlike anybody ever." He kissed my cheek I laid there feeling sleep taking over. I had one thing I had to say before falling asleep.

I rolled over and kissed his lips softly. "Edward"

"H mm" he said

"Earlier you said you couldn't fix me but I disagree because the biggest place I am broken is in my heart. You are mending it with every word and every touch and with your love Edward…You are fixing me!" I said with tears in my eyes again.

"Thank you Bella, I love you so much. Goodnight my love" he said smiling

"Goodnight Edward I love you too." I whispered before falling into the best sleep I can ever remember getting.

**So what do you think huh any good I wanted it to be special and I hope it came out that way. Reviews make the chapters come faster so lay them on me lol!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok so I got some more reviews and Thank you so much. I am so happy to say that they have all been good reviews which makes me feel even better. I will keep the chapters coming asap. Thanks again! Some people think that these two fell too fast but really they were in the hospital together for 3 days and home for 2. Yes it has only been a week but really love at first sight and the pull they have towards each other, they just can't ignore it. So I hope you see that they are just made for each other and they knew it the first time they saw one another. Song again sorry but I like people to know where my inspiration coems from so if you listen while you read listen to Everytime by Britney Spears! Ok enough of my babbling lol I don't own the characters but I wish I did!**

**BPOV**

I woke up feeling fingers gently caressing my back, slowly moving up and down my spine. I just laid there because it felt great and honestly where else would I want to be than in Edward's arms. The safety and love I felt wrapped in them was unlike anything I had ever felt. I keep questioning myself, that maybe we are moving too fast and that there is no way you can fall in love with somebody this fast but considering I had thought I was in love with James before we married and what I felt for Edward was one hundred times more than that, they only thing it could be is real true love. My heart started to beat faster just thinking about him and being in love with him.

In some lucky twist of fate I found Edward and not only did I love him but he loved me. I still new in the back of my head that we were so different and came from different lives. I didn't know how this would work or if it would even last but I really had no choice now. I needed Edward and I would be here for him as long as he needed me.

"What are you thinking about Bella?" He whispered into my ear.

"Oh nothing really, just wondering what I ever did to deserve this." I replied smirking.

"Umm what do you mean," he questioned sounding nervous.

"I just can't figure out how I could be so lucky to have someone as perfect as you love me," I replied smiling when I said the words out loud.

"Bella I am far from perfect you know that right?"

"Oh I know Edward but you are as close to it as they come, plus I think you are pretty much perfect for me."

"You know I would actually consider myself the lucky one to have found you" He said smiling.

"Oh yes because me and my baggage are what every man wants right," I said dryly.

"Well actually in a way yes, I mean not that I don't wish for every second of everyday that I could take away everything that happened to you. But what you went thru made you stronger. On top of that you are funny, beautiful, sensitive, loving and caring, thoughtful, I mean come on Bella the list could go on and on. Plus I am very aware that you are what all men want but the best part is your what I want and I have you now. Those other men will just have to keep searching because I have no plans of letting you go anytime ever."

I laughed loudly as Edward started tickling my sides. "Stop please" I cried.

He got on top of me and started tickling me more, the tears were starting to roll down my cheeks from laughing so hard but I didn't want him to move. He stopped tickling me and just stared at me smiling "You know I want to see that everyday don't you."

"What me being tickled to the point I'm a tears?" I laughed.

"No not exactly," he laughed "I want to see that beautiful smile and hear that laugh of yours everyday Bella."

"Oh well with you around me I'm sure that will be pretty easy to make happen," I laughed again.

"But do you know what I want every day from you?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.

"Anything you want I'll give you anything." he replied

"Kiss me..kiss me everyday starting right now." I laughed

He leaned his head down slowly and brushed his lips against mine. I lifted my head slightly to deepen the kiss as his hands came around to cup my face in them. Our tongues swirled between each others. Kissing him felt so amazing, like I was alive. Every nerve ending in my body was awakened. The pain would disappear laying in his arms. I kissed him harder moaning as his hands came down to my hips and he bucked his hips into me. He held me tightly which I wanted because the thought of him ever slipping away would kill me. I needed him more than he knew.

"Ok loverboy, Rose and Alice are going to be here soon and we need to get ready, and if you don't stop I don't think I will ever leave this room," I giggled.

"Well not that I would complain if we stayed here forever, but I'm sure your friends would kill me so we better not." he laughed back.

I got up off the bed and waked to the door opening it slowly. I turned around and blew him a kiss before walking back to my room. God that was so hard to leave him like that, I just wanted to stay in his arms all day. I knew that wasn't possible but it didn't make me want it any less. I hopped in the shower quickly knowing the Rose and Alice would be here soon and I really couldn't wait to see them.

After my shower I threw on some makeup and clothes, pulled my hair up into a ponytail, and put on my leg wrap. Turns out after the swelling went down they realized I hadn't broken my femur. Just a small splinter break, was fine with me, because then I didn't have to wear that ungodly cast for six weeks. I walked out my bedroom door and went downstairs to grab something to eat and watch some t.v. till they showed up.

"Is there room on the couch for one more person" Edward asked laughing.

He thinks he's so funny, "Yea I think there is room right here" I said as I patted my lap and his eyes went wide before he started laughing even harder.

"Sit down and shut-up I'm trying to watch this you dork" I said turning up the volume.

"Oh so now I'm a dork, Bella that hurts," he smirked.

"Oh please you know I love you now will you please sit down with me," I fluttered my eyelashes and pouted.

"Oh my God don't do that I can't say no to that," he said as he sat down next to me. Oh thank you so much Alice for teaching me the pout. I'll have to give her a big hug when she gets here.

"So Em called when I was upstairs and said they were almost here. You want to go outside and wait for them?" he asked.

"Yea that sounds good I can't wait to see them and hug them and kiss them," I said getting excited.

"Hug and kiss, huh, should I bring some popcorn?" He smirked

I punched him in the arm getting up to grab my coat as he came behind me laughing. "Just don't give them to many of my kisses ok, because I'm adding your lips on mine to that list of things I want everyday too ya know." he said kissing and nipping at my neck.

I moaned softly and pulled my hands from my sides to put them into his hair. He pulled one arm around me and started to play with my nipple thru my shirt. My knees felt week and I knew they were going to give out soon if he didn't stop, but I didn't want him to stop. I turned around slowly grabbing unto his neck and pulling myself up to him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed me into the wall. The minute my head hit the wall the memories took over.

James' hands on my neck, pushing me harder into the wall. My body went limp and the tears and the fear welled up in me. "Bitch tell me what you want, tell me how you want me to take you. Don't push me Isabella, tell me what I want to hear before I fuck up that pretty little face of yours." The bile rising in my throat mixed with his fingers squeezing harder and harder against my neck. I was losing consciousness quickly. My face fell forward as I my stomach heaved the bile rushing from my mouth. "You stupid fucking bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you? A punch to my stomach, strong arms around me pushing me, and then darkness.

"Bella..Oh my God..Bella," I heard my name being called faintly. "Bella please what's wrong? Alice, Rose get in here something's wrong."

"Bella hey look at me, focus on me ok, just look into my eyes." Alice??? Was that Alice?

"Alice" I heard the words leave my mouth but still couldn't quite focus.

"Yes Bella it's me please sweetie come back to me ok, just look at me."

I looked at Alice as she came into focus, feeling the tears running down my cheeks. "I'm sorry I was remembering things. it was so bad I..I where's Edward?" I asked frightened that I had scared him away.

"I'm right here Bella. I'm so sorry Bella I never meant to hurt you I..I just I'm sorry do you want me to go because I will understand.."

"No please God please Edward don't leave me," I said interrupting him.

"Bella love I'm not going anywhere okay, I just didn't know if you wanted a moment alone. I'm here always no matter what okay." he said immediately calming me.

Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper all looked at Edward funny just staring at him questioningly. He just shook his head and walked into the kitchen coming back with a bottle of water. He picked me up off the floor and carried me to the living room setting me down on the couch and handing me the water before sitting down right next to me and immediately taking my hand. He kissed the top of my head as I leaned into him, before looking up and realizing that everyone was standing there jaws open, eyes wide, just watching us.

"Um Bella can Rose and I talk to you alone for a moment?" Alice asked. Edward stood up and kissed my head once more before telling his brothers to come to the kitchen with him.

"What the hell was all that, what is going on here?" Rose yelled. "Listen guys um Edward and I are…well I don't know what we are per say but I I have somehow fallen in love with him and before you say anything guys really I love him, not like I've ever loved anyone before and he ..well he loves me too so please just don't ok. I know it's really fast and I know you guys don't understand but really he just..Oh my God he makes me feel so alive and so safe. I'm really happy right now so please just please don't ruin this for me, I need him." I whispered.

They both looked at me thinking about my revelation before sitting next to me and hugging me. "Your sure, I'm not saying anything bad I just want to make sure you are sure ok," Rose said while Alice nodded.

"Believe me I am more than ok. I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him, he's it for me." I gushed

We sat around talking and I told them about everything that had happened. How Edward felt the same about me and how I was really, really happy right now. They both still looked questionable but I didn't care I knew the truth. I knew how much Edward and I loved each other and that was all that mattered.

Before I could realize that it was so late, Edward and the guys came back in to take the girls to the hotel they were staying at. Esme had offered them to stay here but they said they wanted to stay in the hotel. So now I was hugging and saying goodbyes till tomorrow when they would be back over in the morning.

I closed the door and turned to see Edward leaning against the wall pinching the bridge of his nose. I walked slowly to him placing my hand on his cheek "What is wrong Edward is everything ok?" This is it, this is where Edward's brothers came and talked him out of loving me. I worried about it happening but now seeing the distress in his eyes I knew it was happening. "Edward it's ok I understand, I will grab a bag and go stay at the hotel with the girls ok, I'll be out of your hair soon." I said as the tears started to fall and I ran to my room slamming the door.

Why did I ever believe he could love me. "Because you're stupid" my mind said. Well yeah that's true, stupid for ever thinking that Edward could feel for me like I do him. Maybe it was my breakdown today. I understand if he can't handle it, I barely could why would I expect someone else to willingly put themselves thru it too. I feel to the floor crying and sobbing wishing it could be the night before again or this morning any other time than right now. Wishing that somehow Edward did love me. I laid there wishing he would come but he never did. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up laying on the floor curled in a ball. I looked at the clock and it was after three.

I ran to Edwards room flinging the door open to beg for him to still love me but he wasn't there. The bed was still made everything showing that he never came to his room tonight. He was gone.

I curled up on his bed hugging the pillow that smelled like him and cried. I went to my happy place and there Edward had his arms wrapped around me holding me and keeping me safe, repeating over and over how much he loved me.

**Ok so I know this is a cliff hanger but I will get the next chapter up like today ok so calm down lol! Sorry to do this, but Anybody that knows Edward and Bella knows that they never can have things just be easy. Just stay calm and wait for next chapter ok!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok so I know I left you with a cliff hanger and I apologize but it needed to stop there. I appreciate the reviews from everybody and can't thank all of you enough for taking time away from your lives to read what I write. Please listen to Lullaby by The Spill Canvas you won't be sorry. That is awesome. I want to say thanks to my Bestie Heather for helping me with this chapter I love you!!!!! As always I don't own the characters but I so so so wish I did at least Edward anyway.**

**EPOV**

One minute Bella and I are kissing making out like high school kids and the next she is on the floor in a catatonic state. She was crying and panting and I couldn't make it stop. I couldn't fix her like I said I would. I was making worse. My mom told me to take things slow and I didn't listen and now look at what was happening. I was causing Bella pain and hurting her so bad, things I said I would never do.

I tried talking to my brothers about what was going but how do I explain to them why Bella is laying on the floor without telling them the things that happened to her. It wasn't my place to tell her secrets, nor did I want to. I don't even think I could repeat the things she said without becoming so infuriated that I would track James down and beat the shit out of him for hurting her. Not to mention it wasn't just his fault that she was laying on the floor like that, it was mine. I pushed her to hard, took things to fast, and made her relive a memory she should never have to see again.

I know this is expected when someone is healing but to be the one that made the memory come along my God I never wanted her to see James' face or hear his words because of me. I'm not helping her I'm hurting her even more. My options were clear I could stay and try to help her and make things work and try to be very careful not to break her again. But that came with risks cause I could make her remember something again and I don't think I could handle that pain on her face again. The other option was to leave. Go back home with my heart broken again. It happened once before but under completely different circumstances. I thought I would never find the ground again after that time of my life, but I did. I went on to become who I am now and I knew by leaving Bella now, she could continue on with her life and be happy. I could go away where I couldn't hurt her anymore. It would kill me to live without her heart belonging to me, but what choice do I really have. I would break my own heart a million times over to save hers from pain.

I walked to my room and glanced at the clock realizing it was five in the morning. I had been sitting out on the back porch watching the snow fall all night just thinking about what I knew I had to do. I opened my bedroom door and walked in throwing my coat on the floor. I looked up and there she was, curled up in my bed clutching my pillow with her face buried in it. I walked closer and sat down on the bed just watching her sleep. She looked like hell and I felt the pain in my heart knowing that I had caused her pain once again. Her red cheeks and puffy eyes proved that she had been crying because she thought I was gone, and here I am planning to leave her right now. Could she handle that? Could I, I know I couldn't but could I really hurt Bella like this? Just walk away on the most amazing person I have met. I didn't know a whole lot about her life outside of James but I knew I loved her more than anything. How that is is beyond me but I was truly in love with this woman lying before me and I was hurting her so badly. I stood up changing into some pajama pants. I slid in behind her wrapping my arms around her and breathing in that amazing lilac off her skin. I could not give her up, selfish or not I couldn't leave. I closed my eyes knowing that tomorrow or in a few hours anyway I was going to have to make my behavior up to Bella. That was going to be hard. I started thinking of things to do to fix this as sleep overtook me.

I woke up at noon and immediately felt the cold sheet next to me. She was gone. I jumped up and ran to her room opening the door and taking a deep breath when I saw that her suitcases and boxes were still there. Ok Cullen time to let Bella in, you have work to do.

I walked down to get a quick bite to eat before I started setting up for tonight. I walked into the kitchen and Bella was rinsing off her plate and putting it into the dishwasher.

"Good morning Bella" I said barely above a whisper. "Morning" was all I got. My heart hurt as I felt her cold word hit me. She was shutting me off. "I'll be gone pretty much all day with the girls so I guess I might see you later" she said as she walked out of the room. I knew I had to make her understand why I did what I did last night. I had to make her see how much I loved her, and I would. I ate a quick sandwich, grabbed my coat, and ran out the door to get everything ready for tonight.

**BPOV**

I woke up being nestled into those arms that I loved. I turned slightly to see Edward lying beside me holding me tightly. I don't understand he won't talk to me last night; he comes home after three in the morning, and then crawls into bed with me. Does he really think I need this? I've had enough shit go wrong to date; I don't need Edward fucking Cullen messing me up anymore. I mean really, I live him so much but fuck he knows what happened yesterday was destined to happen. I'm healing it comes with the territory. I needed to get out of this bed and away from him. Even though I love him I am so angry with him right now for walking out on me.

I quickly showered and got ready for my day out with the girls. God did I never need this day. I needed to get out of this house and away from Edward. I just didn't want to think about him today, I just want to have a fun day. I grabbed some breakfast and figured while waiting I would throw the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Good morning Bella" I heard him whisper. "Morning, I'll be out pretty much all day with the girls so I guess I'll see you later" I said coldly walking out of the room. He needed to understand that he hurt me. The bruises and the welts from being physically hurt would go away but being emotionally hurt was a whole nother thing. Edward hurt me more than I ever thought someone could hurt me. He told me he loved me, that he wanted to help me, that he would never hurt me. I mean I know someday he will hurt me but those will be little insignificant things that don't really matter. Walking out on me last night hurt me because I felt like he didn't care, on top of that after those memories flooded my mind I wanted nothing more than to be held by Edward. To be tucked away into his safe arms so I could push the memories away from my mind.

Instead a laid alone crying most of the night. Sometimes I cried because of Edward and others were fear from hearing James' voice echo in my head. I needed him last night so bad and he left. He walked away from me when I really needed him and I just don't think I can trust him to not do that to me again.

"Bella, come on," I heard the girls yell ripping me out of my thoughts. I hopped in the car and put my hands up "Please no Edward today ok I just need a girls day, so can you guys please do that for me?"

They both nodded as we headed to the mall. I hated shopping but I needed something to keep my mind of Edw.. him so Alice said shopping and I said sounds great. We spent the rest of the day going store to store having Rose and Alice but me entirely to many things, but I had so much fun and realized how much I had missed my girls. We pulled up to the house and I grabbed my bags out of the trunk. "Ok guys call me in a little bit and maybe we'll go get drinks after I put my new wardrobe away" I laughed as I rolled my eyes.

I walked in to my room and plopped down on the floor with all my bags. I wasn't lying about the new wardrobe; I didn't know going shopping with the girls meant they were going to buy me one of everything at every store. Oh how I love them though, they were leaving in two days and that made me sad because I really would have no one once they were gone. With things between Edward and I being rocky, I would be alone. I stood up and walked over to my bed noticing a piece of paper laying there, I sat down and grabbed it. It was from Edward:

Bella,

I don't know where to begin. First things first I am so sorry. That word can't even describe how bad I feel for what I have done to you. I know I was wrong. I left you when you needed me most because of my own insecurities and fears. I love you Bella my God I love you so much. You are my life now and last night I hurt you in a way I may never be able to make up for. I hope you will let me try because I will spend every day for the rest of my life trying too if you want. I just want to make you happy Bella. You make me so happy, you make everything better for me. I want to do the same for you. But yesterday when I scared you and made you break down I just felt that I was hurting you more than helping you. I don't regret making love to you Bella but I wish I wouldn't have because in all honesty you and I both weren't ready for that. I'm sorry for that Bella. My mother told me to go slow with you. Guess I fucked that up. I just want you to know that I will try harder Bella, I will be what you need. I'll do whatever takes to see you happy with or without me, it's your choice. Just know that I do love you more than anything and I can fix this I hope because I can't imagine going thru the days for the rest of my life not having you right beside me. Please of you can even think about forgiving me even though I know I don't deserve it grab your coat, hat, and gloves and walk out to the backyard. Follow the arrows to me and let me try to start making this up to you. I love you so much baby, please love me too!

Love,

Edward

Xoxoxoxo

I pushed the tears from cheeks as I read the letter a couple more times. He thought it was his fault, he's so damn stupid. He's a doctor for God's sakes he should know that this will happen. He's so stupid but I love him so much. Especially after that letter and the words in it, how could someone not love this man that happens to be crazy in love with me. Before I could think anymore I was running down the stairs grabbing my coat, hat, and gloves and running into the backyard.

**EPOV**

I had everything ready, due to the cold we would have to do this in a tent. I was so nervous, I've never brought anyone to my meadow before. It was my one place to go when I needed to get away from it all. I fumbled across it when I was 14 and I've always kept it to myself all these years. Tonight I wanted to share it with Bella. Even though it was winter and the flowers were dead and covered by snow it was still beautiful. The small stream that ran thru it was trickling and the moon was shining down illuminating everything in a soft glow. I had the blanket laid down in the tent with rose peddles scattered everywhere. I had a bottle of champagne and two glasses,a heater, my guitar, and a old wrinkled picture. Everything I needed to hopefully get Bella to coe back to me. I heard branches crackling and I knew Bella was here. She obviously didn't get lost. I tried to use lots of arrows with signs on them so she would not get lost. It worked because when I popped my head out of the tent there she was. She bit down on her lip and smiled at me. She was still holding my letter in her hands. I slipped out and pulled her towards me, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you so much for coming Bella," I smiled. "It's nothing but um where are we?" she laughed. "This is my meadow. I found this place when I was 14 and I've been hiding it from everybody ever since. You are the first person to come here with me and I just wanted to share something with you that I have never shared with anybody else." I winked at her.

"It's well it's beautiful Edward and thank you that means…well it means a lot." She said quietly.

"Well let's get you inside the tent before you freeze ok?" I said pulling her towards the tent.

We walked in and she took off her coat because that little heater had really warmed it up inside. She sat down on the pillows on the floor and looked around smiling lightly. I grabbed her a glass of champagne and sat down across from her. She gazed at my guitar and looked at me with her eyebrow slightly raised. I just nodded and said "Later."

I pulled out the old winkled picture and looked at it before taking a deep breath "Bella I know what I did last night was unacceptable and I completely understand if you can't forgive me, but I really felt as though I was hurting you more. I should have gone slower with you Bella. You deserve better than what I gave you and I apologize for that. I want to make it up to you and I am going to try my hardest tonight to let you in and I hope I can make you see how much I really love you." I said anxiously. She nodded and smiled lightly before I continued.

"Bella when I was twenty I was dating a girl named Tanya. We had a decent relationship and I even thought about marrying her one day. We were together for two years when I started medical rotations for school. I was gone a lot and I knew I was hurting her but I tried my hardest to make her happy. I came home one day to find her on the bathroom floor crying. She said nothing but handed me a pregnancy test." I looked to Bella when I noticed her eyes open a little wider. "It was positive and I grabbed her hugging her because I was honestly happy. I've always wanted kids and felt so lucky to know that I was going to be a daddy in nine short months." I choked back the tears as I continued. "We were three months into the pregnancy and things seemed to be going really well between us until I came home one day to find suitcases by the door. I found Tanya in the kitchen and I asked her what was wrong. She told me I was a horrible boyfriend and she couldn't stand to be with me anymore. She said all I did was hurt her all the time and she hated me for all the pain I had caused her."

I handed Bella the picture of my baby boy. "This was taken one week before that day. We were going to name after me of course and I had already bought so many things for him. I was so damn excited Bella. I asked Tanya what we were going to do about Edward jr. I told her that I wanted to be with him all the time, that I would pay for everything he needed and she didn't have to worry. I begged for her not to take my son away from me." With that the tears started to flow, it had been so long since I had opened up those wounds but I knew I needed to let Bella in. "She said I didn't have to worry about it Bella. I asked her why what did she mean he was my son of course I was going to worry about him. I'll never forget those words Bella the words that will forever break my heart. She had an abortion Bella. She killed our son. She was so angry with me that she killed my son. It's my fault, if I would have been there for her more, and been more that she needed he would still be here. I could hold him and kiss him and love him like I always wanted to do." I cried.

"Shh Edward I am so sorry my God am I so sorry. I can't imagine but Edward it's not your fault. You didn't do this ok." She cried into my chest

"He would have been six this year, I was going to take him to baseball tryouts when he turned six. I wanted to coach little league and I would have been at every one of his games Bella a swear I would have. But by letting Tanya down I let my son down and it hurts so bad, everyday Bella it hurts." I couldn't talk anymore I just cried.

I felt Bella's arms wrap around me as she kept saying "It's not your fault Edward. He would have loved you so much. I know you would have been good to him and I know you love him even now so much."

My eyes stung from the tears but it felt good to let them out. I hadn't talked about my son with anybody other than my family and to tell Bella about him made me feel like a weight was off my shoulders. As the tears slowed I leaned up to look at Bella. She handed me the picture back. I kissed it before slipping it back into my wallet.

"I understand" she said quietly. "Why you always think you are at fault Edward. That was not your fault in any way. If she was unhappy she could have left. What she did was selfish and evil and I hope she pays for it someday. Edward please listen to me, it wasn't your fault. Neither what happened with Tanya or what happened yesterday, none of it was your fault. You know I will have times when I have flashbacks, as time goes by they will slow and go away completely. You are helping me and I love you so much Edward. You hurt me last night but that doesn't mean I hate you, I honestly never could. I understand why you left though, and I don't blame you. If I was in your shoes I would have done the same thing. Please just please promise me you won't leave me again Edward. Talk to me always about your concerns or fears, don't run from me okay." She said as a few tears still fell from both of our eyes.

"I promise Bella, I honestly couldn't live without you and I don't know how I survived so long in this world with you not being by me. You are my everything and I want to share everything with you. The good the bad everything Bella because you are so important to me and I never want to lose you."

"You won't." she whispered.

We sat in silence for awhile just holding each other before Bella looked at the guitar again. "What's with the guitar?" she giggled.

**BPOV**

I watched as he grabbed the guitar and smiled. Everything Edward told me tonight was heartbreaking. My heart literally broke for him as I watched him cry and talk about the son he would never see grow up. He would be an amazing father and I know he will be someday. I just wanted to hold him and make him see that hit was not his fault. None of that was his fault but when he told me that I immediately realized what he was doing yesterday. He was trying to run from me because he was afraid he was going to hurt me. He was so afraid of hurting another person again that he would hurt himself to keep my feelings safe. If he only could see how wonderful and amazing he really was. I fell in love with him all over again sitting in hat tent listening him cry out to me. He trusted me with his meadow and his secrets and I loved him all over again for that.

"I heard this song and it just it's us and I wanted to play it for you" he said softly. "You play the guitar? What other hidden talents do you have Mr. Cullen" I joked. "Oh you'll see my dear" he joked back.

He started to strum the strings and I sat back feeling all giddy like a school girl.

_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous, It's your ability to make me earn this_

Well that certainly fit I laughed to myself.

_I know that your tired, just let me sing you to sleep_

_It's about how you laugh out of pitty,, because let's be honest I'm really not that funny_

_I know that your shy, just let me sing you to sleep_

The tears were rolling down my cheeks as he continued to sing and play for me. He is so amazing and I am so fucking lucky!

_It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it_

_It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded_

_I know that your weak, just let me sing you to sleep_

_If you need anything, just say the word I mean anything_

_Rest assured if you start to doze then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips were your necklaces close_

I just watched him playing feeling every word in my heart because this song really was us. It was us together always. It was my new favorite song and always would be.

_While you were sleeping, I figured out everything,_

_I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me_

_Now I feel your name, coursin' through my veins,_

_You shine so bright, it's insane_

_You out the sun to shame_

He finished the chorus again and slowly ended the song smiling lightly at me. I threw myself across the small space and cried into his chest. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tightly never wanting to let go. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me even closer to him.

"Thank you Edward, I love you so much." I said thru my tears.

"I love you too Bella with every part of my heart and soul, I love you."

"One more thing Edward" I said leaning back to look in his eyes, "Your forgiven."

**Ok so that is the longest chapter I have wrote but wow it was needed. I cried writing this it was hard but Bella needed to know why he was the way he was. I hope you love it as much as I do. I am quite proud of this chapter.**

**Reviews=Updates so send me your love!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok so sorry it has taken me a little while to update. I have two kids, go to college full-time, and I started a new job this week, so my biggest apologies that I haven't gotten this chapter up sooner. I want to ask a question and please give me some feedback. I got a review asking if there was going to be a James POV? What do you guys think, should there be a future James point of view? Maybe a couple different ones? I have thought about it but really want your feedback on if you would like that or not. Please let me know! Ok so I am really liking adding a song to each chapter so for this one, Incubus "Echo". Now that I have spoke enough let's get it on….I do not own the characters sadly but oh I wish I did!**

**~~~~~*~~~~~**

**BPOV**

I'm sitting in the lawyer's office that Edward suggested looking thru a magazine. I can't believe I am actually going to get this divorced started and then once it's done it can just be Edward and I. No more James ever again. I know I will never forget what happened in that part of my life but I feel great knowing that my life will be amazingly different from now on.

Edward left yesterday morning and to say I was upset would be an understatement. He kissed me lovingly for twenty minutes before his flight. He caressed my face gently and repeated the words that make me float over and over.

"I love you Bella, so much. Words can't describe how you make me feel. You have made me so happy. I wish I didn't have to go but I will be back soon. Just a couple of months to get everything tied up and I will be back to you. My official start date at the hospital is exactly two months from now. Two months and I will be in your arms again where I expect to be forever."

He kissed me over and over again and repeated the words "I love you" and "Two months" in between kisses.

We are going to talk and text everyday of the two months. I cried so hard last night when we came home. Esme comforted me and held me. We drank some wine as she told me funny stories of Edward growing up. I laughed so hard at one point I almost peed me pants. We talked about Edward jr and how much she wished the situation could have been different. We of course talked about Edward and I and I was happy that Esme was so glad we found each other. She said "Fate and destiny work hand in hand Bella, it was destiny for you two to be together, and it was fate that made it happen."

Her words made me think how it really was true. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with Edward. He makes me so happy and I truly love him more than myself. It's that fairytale love that you assume is fairytale. Now that I have found Edward I realize it is not, it can happen and it has to me. I wonder how I got so lucky, to find Edward and fall so hard for him but having him so the same is why I am so lucky.

The last two weeks went by to fast before he had to leave. Not that he didn't plan plenty of things for us to do before he left. We had so much fun and I haven't felt this free and happy ever in my life.

Oh the skiing now that was funny. Tell me how Edward thinks me and my lack of balance and skies go together. We went down the hill once. Well actually I fell and tumbled down but hey I tried. We laughed so hard when Edward said that he didn't think the bunny hill would be my demise but was he ever wrong. Yes you heard right I was on the bunny hill. The kids were flying past me while I tumbled head over feet and got a massive bruise on my butt.

We cuddled up on a bench and drank hot chocolate and just talked about everything. Our families, school, friends, all the aspects of our life that were important to us. I loved just sitting in his arms talking about everything good and bad and feeling comfortable.

If the skiing wasn't enough he thought ice skating would be fun. Ha had he not learned yet that I am accident prone. There doesn't even have to be anything in front of me for me to trip and he wanted me to get on ice skates. I feel a few times but the best part was when Edward was skating backwards holding my hands and pulling me along. He hit a divot in the ice and fell backwards pulling me with him. I landed on top of him laughing so hard because finally somebody else feel other than me.

"Are you laughing at me, humm?"

"Oh my God Edward that was so funny, finally I wasn't the one to fall. You should have seen your face, that was so funny."

I laid on top of him laughing as he chuckled underneath me. Then I felt his lips on mine and the laughing stopped right away. "I love when you laugh, I hope I can make you laugh everyday for the rest of our lives. You are so carefree and happy right now Bella and I hope I can always make you feel this way."

I cut him off my leaning in and licking his bottom lip with my tongue. He opened his mouth and we deepened the kiss. It was so funny there were people all around us skating but it was like they disappeared. It was just him and I laying here on the ice kissing like teenagers. It was amazing and I will go ice skating everyday if it is like this every time.

We went out for dinners and cuddled every night in bed. We hadn't made love since that first night. I knew Edward wanted to take things slow but I knew how much he loved me and I just wanted to be connected to him in every way. Not to mention I knew after that first time I could never get enough of Edward Cullen. I wanted him all day every day. He would brush up against me and I could feel the heat settle between my legs. I wanted him so bad but he was insistent that we wait till we are ready. I don't know about him but I was certainly ready more than ready I was well let's just say I thought about it a lot.

I decided that he was leaving in the morning and he would be gone for two months and I just couldn't wait anymore. I pulled on cute pair of maroon cheekies and a sexy lacy black tank top and lit candles all over the bedroom. I pulled my hair out of the ponytail holder and let it drape down my shoulders. I put on some soft piano music in the background and thru on some lip gloss. I laid on the bed and waited for Edward to come up.

I must have fallen asleep because I was having the most incredible dream of Edward and I. He was softly caressing my body and placing light kisses all over me. My hands immediately went to his hair as a soft moan slipped thru my lips. He was at my neck kissing and nipping with his teeth and I was wet immediately. "Bella wake up I will stop if you keep sleeping."

What I know I am sleeping but those words were in my ear and I realized that I was not dreaming Edward was doing all these things for real. My eyes popped open and they were met with his green eyes that were clouded over with lust. He leaned in and kissed me softly running his fingers thru my hair while he kissed me made me even hotter.

I pushed him up and slowly pulled his shirt off. He then pulled my tank off and we laid back down. my chest on his and the heat we created felt so good. We just kissed and touched each other for what seemed like hours. Just reveling in each other's kisses and touches. I puched him back up again and softly ran my finger inside his boxers from one hip to the other. I pulled them down slowly before I grabbed him. He looked down at me and put his hands in my hair.

"Bella you don't have t…"

I kept my eyes connected on his as I slowly took him into my mouth. He watched as I went all the way down and came back up twirling my tongue around him as I did. He started to pull his hand away from my head.

"Don't I like it there show me how you want me to…"

His hands tightened into my hair and he pushed lightly setting me at a rhythm that he enjoyed. I never took my eyes from his as he watched me take him in and out of my mouth. I saw his eyes roll back and I knew he was going to cum. I grabbed his thighs so he knew I wanted him to stay in my mouth. I wanted to taste Edward, all of him. My name rolled off his tongue as he came. His thrusts became slower and then he stopped. I looked up at him with him still in my mouth and I slowly let go with a little 'pop'.

He gently pushed me back down on the bed and went to my hips. he kissed each one softly and licked from one to the other along the curve of my stomach. He gently locked his fingers in my underwear and slowly pulled them down. He traced my legs with licks and kisses on the way back up and I felt as though I was about to combust. He looked up at me with his sideways smile and dipped his head in between my legs.

"Never…never has anyone ever made me feel like you Edward. It feels like the first time all over again. Only you Edward, you are the only one for me."

I felt him smile against me as he continued to dip his tongue into me and lick and suck at my clit. I felt his fingers at my entrance as he nibbled on my clit and pushed them in. I bucked my hips into his hand and just came apart. My body convulsed as the wave of my orgasm took over me. Edwards name fell from my lips as I shook and melted into the bed.

He crawled back up my body and kissed me. I could taste him and myself in my mouth now and it was amazing. you two mixed together was perfect, just like Edward and I together were.

"I'm ready Edward, I need you….please." The words fell from my lips when I felt the tip of him right where I needed it.

As he slowly pushed into me he said "I love you Bella."

We made sweet love slowly just giving and taking from each other. It felt amazing to have Edward in me and I can't think of anything I have ever experienced that would even begin to amount to how it felt when I was consumed fully by him. We both came panting each other's names and then he just held me as I drifted off into sleep hearing "I love you's" as sleep overtook.

"Aro will see you now."

I walked into the office, shook Aro's hand, and sat down.

"So Bella I hear you are a good friend of the Cullen's?" he said

"Yes they told me that you could help me."

:Edward told me about what happened with your husband, my sincere apologies to you Bella."

"I really just want to forget it all and move on with my life. I want to be divorced from him as soon as possible."

"Well I already started the papers and we just need to speak about what you want from the marriage."

"Listen Aro, to be completely honest I want nothing. I have everything I need here and everything from him would just be a bad memory. He can have it all, I just want it to be over."

"I understand completely Bella, I will get the papers worked up and you'll have to stop by to sign them then I will contact James for him to sign. I will make this as fast and as painless as possible for you Bella."

"Thank you Aro I appreciate all your help."

We talked about a few more things and then shook hands again as I left. I felt like I was on a high. Knowing that this mess would soon be over felt great. I was walking thru the city just enjoying the sites. I really like Seattle. It is a lot like Chicago but different in many ways too. I stopped at windows and looked in them. I walked around in the park watching the kids play hoping that someday I would be there with Edward watching our children run around and play.

I noticed when I came across the office of The Seattle Times. I had a degree in advertising and writing and I got excited thinking about working for them. I walked thru the front doors and went to the receptions desk. A woman who looked like the epitome of the word bitch was yapping on the phone aimlessly.

"Excuse miss, I was wondering where your HR department was?"

"Hold on Mike, What exactly can I help you with."

"The HR department, I wanted to know where it was." I said a little harsh, but she deserved it…Bitch!

"Down the hall and to the left" she sneered back.

"Thanks."

I walked down the hall looking a t the plaques from awards the paper had won. It would be amazing to work with them and thank God I just happened to have a resume with me. I figured I would look around for a job while I was here, but never thought I would actually get hired at a place like this.

I walked into the room and I nice older woman came towards me.

"Hello how can I help you?"

"Umm hi my name is Bella Swan and I was just wanting to drop off a resume. I recently moved here and I am looking for a job."

She took my resume and looked at for a few minutes. My palms were sweating and I felt really nervous. This was like a dream job and not being prepared right now was not helping my nerves.

"Well Bella you have some great achievements in the small time you have been working. I see you had a couple articles in the New York Times."

"Yes I lived in Chicago but I wrote a few articles for The New York Times on the side."

Listen we are looking for a writer/editor, I think you would fit in nicely. Let me speak with my colleagues and I will get back to you very soon. Could I get your current address and phone number so I can reach you when we have a decision?"

I gave her my information and walked out smiling with hope that I would get a phone called soon.

~~~~~*~~~~~

**EPOV**

One down fifty more boxes to go. I was slowly packing up my apartment trying to get things packed that I wouldn't need for the next two months. Leaving Bella at the airport yesterday was so hard. I never wanted to let her go, I just wanted to keep kissing her. The plane ride was filled with thoughts of Bella and I and how much fun we had before I left. Only two months and I would be starting at the hospital in Seattle. Far from Chicago and the memories it held. Back in the arms of Bella where is the only place I want to be.

Last night was amazing. I watched her sleep mumbling every now and then about turning the bushes off. I laughed listening to her but my heart skipped a beat when she murmured "I love you Edward soon we'll be back together." I knew this wasn't easy for either of us but it was so hard leaving her. The pull that this woman had on me was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Being away from her made me feel physically ill.

I've been gone for two weeks now and it is still just as hard as the first five minutes away from her. We talk multiple times a day on the phone and when I am at work we text back and forth constantly. She and Esme have been keeping busy which makes me so happy. I am so glad she is happy spending time with my mother. They bonded and were fast becoming best friends. I heard my phone ringing and jumped up to grab it. "Private call humm that's weird" I thought to myself.

"Hello….hello is anyone there."

"She's mine Cullen" the voice said and the phone went dead.

James that fucking bastard. I wondered if he had gotten the papers yet. Bella had called me that day and she was so happy to have gotten the ball rolling on her divorce. She was so much stronger than she gave herself credit for. I was so proud of her for taking this step and by getting the divorce, it made things between her and I's future seem a lot more clear. My phone was ringing again, Bella.

"Hello"

"Oh my God Edward guess what."

"Umm you love me?"

"Well of course but ok listen I didn't want to tell you this because I didn't want to jinx it but listen after I talked to the lawyer I was walking around the city just taking in the scenes. Anyway I stopped in front of the Seattle Times and decided what the hell I would drop of my resume. I talked to this woman named Jane and she said she was impressed with me. She just called back and offered me the job Edward."

"Bella that is great, when do you start, I am so proud of you."

"Next week on Monday. Edward they offered me a great hire package. Benefits, phenomenal pay, vacation time the whole nine yards I am so excited. I couldn't wait to call you."

"This is amazing I am so happy for you. Bella you will do great, you are amazing and it is about time you start recognizing it. o what is the job?"

I will be writing and doing editing right underneath the chief editor which is Jane. Edward people work for a long time to get to positions like this I can't believe it. I guess your right about me."

"What do you mean?"

"I need to believe in myself more like you do. Edward this wouldn't even have happened if not for you and I just…well..Thank you for helping me to see what I hadn't in a very long time."

"Bella I'm glad you are finally starting to see yourself clearly. You will do a great job. I wish I was there to celebrate with you. I want to hold you and hug you and kiss you right now so bad."

"I know but we are down to a month and a half Edward, only six more weeks and we'll be together again. I thought it would hurt a little less after a week or so but I still miss you so much. Hopefully now that I will be working time will go by fast because I really miss you:

"I don't deserve you, you know that right. I love you so much Bella and I miss you so much too. I know what you're saying about the hurt, I feel it every day."

"Oh I think you don't see yourself very clearly because I really don't deserve you silly. Soon six weeks, we can do this."

"Well for the sake of an argument" I chuckled "How about we both deserve each other very much. We were made for each other in every sense of the word."

"I agree very much, I'm yours. You're stuck with me now."

"Well touché Bella"

"Oh your moms home I want to tell her about the job, I'll call you tonight before bed to play ok"

"Play humm sounds good baby I'll talk to you then. I love you."

"Love you to baby, only you!"

I set my phone down and smiled thinking about Bella and our conversation made me miss her more but I felt an overwhelming sense of pride for her. This job would be great for her. She needs this to move on with her life so that maybe one day she can see the strength she posses. I just can't wait to have her in my arms tonight.

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Only three weeks left and I am literally counting down the minutes. Bella is loving her job and fitting in there perfectly. She has been busy trying to make sure everything is done perfect and it makes me laugh. Bella puts herself in 100% when she does anything and her thinking she is not doing good enough is preposterous but there's no talking to her so I just let her. There's the phone.

"Hello"

"You know what I think this is so sweet"

"Excuse me"

"Oh you rescuing Bella, Ha have you fucked her yet?

"Fuck you"

"Hey I'm just saying I know how fucking good she is just wondering if you are sleeping with my wife or not. Do you make her scream your name, ask for more, fuck asking do you make her beg for it Edward?"

"You are sick stay the hell away from Bella she is with me now. She doesn't want you and you need to get that straight now."

"Oh is that so well considering I am still her husband which you aren't I believe that gives me the right to do with her as I please. Is she enjoying Seattle? From the pictures I got she seems to be happy. She looks a little sad though like she misses something or someone. I knew she would miss me, but she won't have to much longer."

"You fucking come near her and I swear to God I will kill you. You hear me James I will fucking kill you."

"Edward are you threating me?"

"Your damn right I am but I wouldn't consider it a threat more like a promise if you go anywhere near her."

"Oh is little Edward in love? Well fuck you she is mine and I will have her back soon enough. I just wanted you to know that she will be where she belongs soon enough. For now the pictures will have to do until I pay her a little visit."

"Oh I see you must have gotten the papers, having your wife tracked down are you James? Well just so you know yes I am in love with Bella and she is in love with me. She hates you and you will never be a part of her life again. Our life together will have nothing to do with you."

"I'll keep that in mind Edward but only when I have her begging me for more. I will remember your petty little words. You think she will be scared knowing what I am going to do to her for her little affair she had."

"You won't touch her ever again James. I've already warned you and I hope you take it. Stay away from Bella and stay away from me."

"I'll keep in mind your little warning, but Edward…I'll see you both soon."

The phone went dead and the rage and fear flowing thru my body was taking me over. Rage because this sick fuck was having Bella followed. Fear for Bella. Someone was following her and I wasn't here to protect her. I jumped on the phone and got the next flight to Seattle. I called the hospital and told them I had an emergency at home and would not be able to finish my last three weeks there.

Before I knew it I was on the plane just wanting to get to Bella. Make sure she was safe. I considered taking her away but running will not work. This guy is sick and he will not give up. I just want to be home to pull Bella into my arms and know that she is safe.

I pulled up in front of the house and jumped out of the car. I ran into the house and found My mom and dad and Bella watching a movie. Bella jumped off the couch and ran to me.

"Edward what's wrong? What are you doing here, I mean you still have three weeks left. Edward what is wrong you don't look right."

I saw my parents walk over to us

"Bella it's James he has been watching you. He called me, he's not letting you go. I had to get to you to make sure you were safe. We are going to figure this out Bella I promise I will keep you safe."

I watched the panic attack start and I knew Bella was scared…more than scared she was terrified. She fell to the floor and started gasping for air. The only words from her mouth was

"He'll kill me, he's going to kill me."

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**Ok cliff hanger again I know but what do you expect, it makes you want to come back. I love the reviews and I thank you all again for reading. Thanks to those of you that have recommended my story to others. I want to get a bunch more reviews and readers because they make me want to write even more for you. So what's going to happen? Any ideas. Let me know and if you have any ideas of your own for sure let me know. I aim to please!**

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	12. Chapter 12

**Ok been a little while since an update but have really been debating on how I was going to do this chapter. I hope you like it as best as you can. It will seem for a minute that you have missed a chapter but I assure you you haven't, just keep reading and it will make sense. Song for this chapter is Angel Standing By, by Jewel. Please listen to it the chapter will really be that much better. As always I own nothing but really wished I did.**

**BPOV**

My eyes slowly started to open. "Where am I?" I thought glancing around the dark room. I was laying on a big king sized cast iron bed. The walls were painted dark red and there were no windows. My head ached like something crazy, throbbing pain was shooting thru it. I felt odd, and very nauseous. My heart was racing and I felt wrong. This room, me in it, everything in this moment felt wrong.

I looked around some more and my body felt tight and hard. My anxiety was spiking because I was confused and sick, and honestly scared.

"Think Bella, what's the last thing you remember?"

I remembered going to work in the morning, having lunch with Edward, and then heading to the parking garage to go home.

"Edward" I gasped. Where was he? I thought back to the last month…

Things had ben going so well. Than Edward came home early from Chicage saying htat James had called him and that he was having me followed he thought. He had threatened James and James told him I was his and he wouldn't let go.

The first week after Edward got home we were very scared. I lay in wait knowing that he was going to come for me the question was when? By week two with nothing from James we started to fall into a comfortable life again. I was always on edge in the back of my mind but as the days went on without anything I really though James gave up.

Edward and I had been looking at houses when we both got the eerie feeling that we were being followed. We never saw anyone but the feeling never left.

We continued are search for the perfect home until I came across it online. It was beautiful and just what I had always wanted. The house sat outside of town on about ten acres. It was a four bedroom two and a half bath. It was an older home but that was what pulled me in. I loved the old homes because they had so much character to them. They held stories in there walls of past lives that had enjoyed and experienced their years there. It had a porch that wrapped around the whole house and was the first thing I feel in love with.

I had always been a simple girl, and this house just fit me. My dream home, and not only was it perfect for me but Edward loved it too. We signed the papers last week and planned on moving in this weekend. Edward wanted to have all the appliances upgraded to new, and was having the kitchen redone for me. He also wanted a top of the line security system installed before we moved in.

At lunch today Edward had told me that everything was ready and we were set to move in this weekend. After lunch I was so excited and couldn't contain my joy thru out the rest of the day. I was so glad to be moving on with my life. My last hurdle was to have the divorce from James finalized and then my life could completely start with Edward.

I remember walking down to the parking garage and grabbing my keys to unlock my car. Every hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I felt eyes on me. Then it all goes black, nothing until waking up now.

"James" I whispered. He followed thru. I knew it with every piece of my soul that James had gotten me.

I sat back against the head board and grabbed my knees sobbing. I closed my eyes and thought of Edward. His brilliant crooked smile, his beautiful bronze sex hair, his words of adoration and love he had shared with me. All the beautiful things that were the man I loved more than anyone before him. I would never love someone the way I loved Edward Cullen.

No one would ever compare to him. I cried realizing that I would never see him again. I knew now that James wouldn't let me go. I was here with him now where as he said "I belong" there was no way to leave. I jumped up and ran to the door. I grabbed the handle and pulled it trying to pry it open, but to no avail, I was trapped.

I screamed rather out of fear, sadness, or anger I screamed over and over again sobbing thru it all.

I climbed back to the bed and noticed the closet door was slightly hanging open. I walked over and pulled it open to see my clothes and shoes lining the closet. I traced my fingers across the fabrics and cried harder.

I walked back to the bed and opened the bed side table. I saw some of my books and my I pod. I grabbed it and sat down on to the bed. I quickly turned it on and searched for the song I desperately needed to hear. I pressed play and closed my eyes to listen as I held the pillow tightly to myself crying.

_All thru the night I'll be watching over you,_

_And all thru the night I'll be standing over you,_

_And thru bad dreams I'll be right there baby telling you that everything is going to be alright,_

_And when you cry I'll be there baby telling you you're never nothing less than beautiful,_

_So don't you worry I'm your angel standing by_

I put the song on repeat listening to the words picturing Edward's face.

**EPOV**

Lunch went great and I was so excited to be taking the next step in my life right beside the love of my life. Bella is my everything and as soon as the divorce is finalized I will make her my wife. I pictured Bella walking down the aisle looking amazing as she came to be my wife, Bella with a swollen stomach from carrying our first child, birthday parties, growing old and cuddling up in front of a fireplace with both of us dawning grey hair. I would spend my entire life trying to always make her happy and make sure anything she ever wished for was hers.

My life never really began before Bella and I couldn't wait to make every memory with Bella.

I glanced up at the clock and realized it was seven and Bella wasn't home yet. I tried her cell but it went straight to voicemail. I called the office but got her voicemail again. I instantly felt the bile rise in my throat. I was scared. I glanced down at my phone and realized I had a voicemail. I quickly opened the phone and listened.

"Edward I hate to break this to you, but Isabella has decided that she wants to work on our marriage. She apologizes but she just wants us to be happy. I tried to warn you Edward I told you she was mine." James's voice cut off.

"Fuck" James had Bella. I knew everything he was saying was a lie but it still hurt my heart to think that Bella would ever leave me.

I quickly grabbed t phone and called Charlie.

"Hey Edward how's it going?" he asked

"Charlie" I said thru my tears "It's Bella, James has her."

I heard Charlie scream no into the phone and then there was just haggered breathing and sobbing coming across the line.

"Charlie please we have to find her I can't….I can't live without her Charlie she's …….she's my lie now."

"Edward call the police I'm on my way. I'll call Renee and let her know."

I hung up and immediately called the police. They had already known of the situation with James due to the fact Bella had a restraining order on him every since I came home.

I ran down the stairs to alert my parents that the police and FBI were on their way to set up and what was happening.

Four hours later the house was swarmed with officers and suits working diligently to find my Bella. James hadn't been seen in two weeks and no one knew where he was. The FBI asked for a recent picture of Bella that they could get to put out to all the news stations local and across America. I walked to my room and grabbed the framed photo of me and Bella.

It was taken in front of the fireplace. Bella was behind me with her arms wrapped around my chest with her chin resting on my shoulder. She was smiling brightly, and her eyes were so alive. I ran to the bathroom as the vomit flew from my mouth.

I felt strong arms wrap around me and hold me as if I were a child. In that moment though, I felt as I was a child. I couldn't cope with Bella being gone. I was physically sick and now that the shock was wearing off, the sadness and the pain were creeping in.

"Edward I promise son we will find her" my dad whispered to me.

I couldn't speak I just continued to lay on the floor and cry.

**BPOV**

I heard the door being unlocked and immediately tensed up. I moved to the head board and wrapped myself tightly knowing who was going to come thru the door.

I saw him walk in and then close the door and lock it before turning around. I was shaking and crying when his eyes met mine.

"Isabella honey, your home with me why are you so upset my dear" James said smiling

"This isn't my home James. My home is with Edward not you…you bastard" I shrieked

"Isabella I would watch how you talk to your husband. How long has it been? Huh? That is no way to talk to me."

"Fuck you. You are nothing to me"

He came across the room quickly and grabbed my face. "I am your husband and you will treat me with respect you selfish bitch"

I could feel the pain in my cheeks a he squeezed harder. "Fuck respect you will get none from me"

I felt the pain and the sting in my cheek as his hand made contact with it.

"You wanna play games Isabella dear, that's fine I like these kind of games"

He grabbed my wrist and pulled them up locking them into the restraints that were hanging off the head board. I was kicking and screaming at the top of my lungs as I felt my foot connect with his face.

"You bitch you're going to pay for that"

He grabbed my ankles and put them in the restraints that were at the end of the bed. I felt his hands rake up my body as he ripped my shorts down my legs.

"Please James don't, please please don't do this" I screamed thru my tears.

He didn't say a word. I watched as he quickly unbuttoned his pants and pulled himself out. He climbed between my legs and thrust hard into me, I screamed and cried as he pushed hard into me. I felt the wetness knowing it was blood right away. He ripped at my skin and pinched at my nipples so hard that I could barely feel the touches anymore. I cried thru the whole thing just hoping it would be over soon. He pulled away and stood at the edge of the bed.

"Isabella you are mine so you better get used to it. This will be ten times worse if you fight me. Just to teach you some respect I'm leaving you tied up tonight. I will be back in the morning and we will talk and see if you have changed your mind." He said as he turned around and walked out locking the door behind him.

I laid there crying for hours. I could feel the blood still oozing from my center as my arms and legs went numb. I closed my eyes and pictured his face. My Edward was smiling at me.

"I love you Bella. You are my life now. You are what matters to me most and I will never leave you. You Bella you're my all." He whispered

"I love you Edward always and forever I will love you and I will always be yours, only yours." I whispered back.

I knew in that moment that I had to survive this. I had to get away and find my way back to Edward. Without him life held little reason to live. He was my life and I was going to do whatever I had to do to get my life back.

**EPOV**

At some point I left the bathroom and climbed into my bed. I laid there just holding the picture of Bella and I. I cried harder than I have in my whole life staring at the picture of the woman that was my world. I had to find her. I never much believed in God but in that moment there was no one else to turn to. So I did and I prayed.

"God please keep her safe. My life doesn't exist without Bella in it. Please just don't let him hurt her. Bring her back to me. I'll do anything if I can just see her beautiful face again. Please don't take her form me, I need her more than anything" I cried "Just let her be found God please"

I closed my eyes and pictured her beautiful face as I felt my mother stroking my arm and sobbing. I feel into a fitful sleep haunted by graphic dreams about what Bella was going thru. I don't think I ever stopped crying even in my sleep.

I watched as James touched her and she cried. She was crying for me to save her but I was froze and couldn't move. I watched and could do nothing to help her. James looked back at me and smiled before it went black and all I could hear was Bella screaming for me to help her.

"Nnnnnoooooo" I screamed out.

My mother jumped and hushed me wiping the sweat away from my forehead.

"Mom I have to find her, she has to come home to me, I can't live without her." I cried into my pillow as Bella's cries for help flooded my mind.

**Crawls underneath bed and peeks out waiting for the hits to begin. Please don't hate me! I'm sorry this is just where the story is going and I promise it will get better. I will be under the bed hiding until the next chapter with my cigarettes and notebook. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Ok so it took longer than I would have liked to get this puppy up but let's just say James and I have been going at each other with knives. I swear I hate him! Any who here we have it chapter 13 I hope you like it and I hope I do it justice. I have a lot going on in this chapter but I believe it will end appropriately. Playlist is a special tribute to New Moon soundtrack so throw on Hearing Damage by Thom Yorke and Possibility by Lykke Li and enjoy! I of course own nothing all characters belong to Stephanie but I do own all my Twilight saga books, candies, movies, magazines, posters, calendars, and thanks to my wonderful hubby the journals too and of course this baby, my story!**

**BPOV**

"Dammit Isabella take the damn pill or I will put another fucking hole in your arm" James screamed at me.

I opened my mouth as James put the pill on my tongue and handed me the water. I took a small sip and felt the small yellow pill slide down my throat. I hated the fucking pills. They made me feel lost like I was under water or something. I could never see Edward as clearly either when I was drugged.

Four weeks, four weeks in this, my own personal hell. They drug by so slowly in this room with no windows. At least I was free to walk around my room, my cage as I call it, but at least I was able to freely move. I had a small bathroom with a shower sink and toilet. My cage also held my bed, one dresser, and a night stand.

I had attempted a few weeks back to look for something to throw at James so I could escape but to my surprise everything was screwed to the walls. The drawers wouldn't even come out. Everything was controlled in this room including me. James controlled the lighting and would decide each night when they would go off. I would sit in complete silence and darkness. It was so dark that my eyes could never even grow accustom to it. I feel asleep every night dreaming of my love, my soul mate, my life Edward.

I wondered what he was doing now. Had he forgot about me? Was he moving on giving up on me and us and everything we shared? Probably I wouldn't blame him. If I was broken before I was beyond demolished at this point. Two weeks ago James was raping me again and broke my arm….

_I was sitting on my bed contemplating dying. I knew it would happen at some point. James was becoming more and more ruff as the days went by. I didn't comply to him and he hated it. I decided though that I would not go easy. I would fight with everything I had in me because whether Edward was missing me or not I had to fight to get back to him. If not for him I would have already taken care of this situation myself, but I needed Edward and I wasn't ready to leave him yet._

_I heard the locks on the door turning and my breath hitched in my throat. The door swung open and James walked thru turning to quickly lock it back before sliding the keys into his pocket. He walked over to me smiling and licking his lips. I knew this was going to be bad because of the black in his eyes._

"_Isabella take your clothes off now I need a release" he stated._

"_Fuck you" I seethed right back._

_Before I could say anything else he grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bed. He pulled my arm behind my back and tugged._

"_James please that hurts, God please you're going to break my arm."_

"_That's the point my dear Isabella. You don't want to listen to me, you want to be a bitch than I'll treat you like the bitch you are."_

_He tugged my arm higher up my back and started twisting my wrist. It was slow and torturous the way he made me feel second by second my bone in my arm breaking. I was screaming as the tears fell down my cheeks. It hurt so fucking bad as the bone separated and the instant fire ripped thru my arm. I collapsed on the floor and couldn't move._

_James picked me up and threw me back on the bed. My head hit the head board and everything went black._

I don't know what else happened that night but I awoke the next morning to my arm being a small cast and a massive knot on the back of my head. At this point it was just a new injury. My body was covered in black and blue welts. I literally was bruised from head to toe. My body ached so bad and if anything I was thankful for the drugs because they took the pain away. The numbness would slowly creep in and then in those moments I would feel safe. I could go to my happy place with Edward. I could push the vile and repulsive things James was doing to me away because I couldn't feel anything. I was like a stone in my mind and my body.

"So Isabella are you feeling anything yet?" James asked

Honestly I was feeling a little weird. Everything in the room became vibrantly colored. When James spoke I could feel every little chill bump that arose on my skin. Everything seemed kind of in slow motion.

"Open your mouth Isabella"

I did because I felt like I had no control over the option. I wanted to be good and I wanted him to touch my skin. He dropped in two more yellow little pills in my mouth and I swallowed. I could feel them sliding down my throat like they were caressing me from the inside. It felt amazing. My body was reacting wrong in this moment. My mind was telling me to fight , to stop him but my body wanted nothing more than for him to touch me.

"Wh what d did you g give m me?" I stuttered.

"Oh Isabella I think you are going to really enjoy this. I figured since you have been fighting me so much I need to find away to let me have you a little more willingly." He slowly brought his lips to mine and whispered while touching them "Ecstasy Isabella"

"Oh fuck" my brain screamed. This is bad really bad. I had never done drugs a day in my life but I knew about them. Growing up with a cop as a father you learn pretty much everything that has to do with drugs and dangerous situations. Charlie literally scared me out of ever wanting to have anything to do with drugs. Ecstasy makes people want to touch, have sex, and just feel and James just gave me three tablets.

"Just lay here Isabella get used to the feelings coursing thru your body. I will be back real soon ok. I have a special surprise for you my Isabella." He said as he crossed the room to the door and left.

I laid there for about fifteen minutes scared out of mind until I felt the ecstasy really start to set in. I ran my fingers up my arm and giggled as I felt the heat surge thru my body and go straight to my core. There was a small voice in the back of my head that was screaming that this was wrong that I needed to fight but she was slowly becoming more and more quiet, more distant. The lights in the room went off and the door opened. I heard shuffling of some sort and something being scraped across the floor.

My mind was screaming for me to run but my body wouldn't respond. It was like mush at this point and every small movement I made just made me reveal in the feeling. The softness of my own skin, the way it looked, and the way it felt were amazing. It was so interesting to just lay there and feel.

James walked back out and then returned carrying somebody slumped over his shoulder. He was barely moving and his head was hung low. The room was dark and I couldn't see anything, just the shape of the person James was carrying in.

He walked slowly towards me and brushed his fingers up my calf to me thigh and I shivered in anticipation. The touch of the fingers felt amazing and I wanted them in me at once. The only thought in my mind was touching, and feeling, and sex.

"Are you ready for your surprise Isabella?" He said as he blind folded me.

"Yes" I replied.

**EPOV**

It's been a month. a fucking month since Bella was gone. I still hoped for the best but feared for the worst. At night my dreams would haunt me with thoughts of Bella's dead body laying somewhere cold, wet, and dark. She was alone and I just wanted to be with her. I wanted to die with her because life was just not right without Bella in it. I couldn't survive without her. She was my life and without her I just don't exist. Charlie called everyday with a little update about how they were trying to track James and find him. After two weeks of these phone calls I lost all hope that I would ever find her. I screamed at night waking from dreams of Bella being tortured and raped by James. I hated to admit it and it hurt so bad but I knew it was happening. I felt so pained because there was absolutely nothing I could do to help her. The FBI and Charlie were working day and night to find her and my father hired a private investigator but it was all ending the same way. There was no trace of him anywhere. I trudged up the stairs to go to bed to face another sleepless night. I couldn't stay in the house that we had bought. To many memories were there already and I couldn't bring myself to stay there without Bella by my side.

I was staying at my parents house. They left yesterday for a California where my dad had to attend a convention. My mom cried leaving saying she would stay but I wanted her to go. I wanted to be alone to suffer by ,myself. Four weeks ago to the day my life officially ended.

I feel asleep quickly before the dreams started. I was awoken to hands and a cloth over my face. I looked up and before everything went black I saw him. James was standing over me with a devilish smirk and black cold eyes. I tried to fight but the chloraphorm was already taking over and I couldn't move. My eyes slowly started to shut as the darkness took over.

I woke up in a room and it was completely black. I tried to move but my arms were restrained. My mouth was taped shut and my legs were tied to a chair that wouldn't move. I slowly pulled my head up and strained to see anything. and then I heard his voice.

"Are you ready for your surprise Isabella?" Wait Bella is here what the fuck is going on. I felt so confused and then the lights came on.

Bella was laying on the bed naked with a blind fold on. She was smiling as she said yes. Is she faking? Is she trying to make things easy for herself. I can't figure this out.

James looked at me "Let me show you how much she loves me. I want you to see why you will never be enough for her. She is mine and I want you to watch her. How she begs for my touch" He said slowly.

I sat there stunned as the nausea overwhelmed my stomach. This twisted sick bastard was going to make me watch him rape my girlfriend, my life. I sat there wide eyed not being able to yell and scream at him like I wanted to.

His hands started to slowly rake against her thighs and I watched as she smiled and licked her lips. What the fuck. What is happening? Did she like this? He smiled at me as he reached her center and stroked his fingers up and down thru her center gently. She moaned and bucked her hips against him. The tears started to stream down my face as I watched the sick horror play out in front of me. He pushed his fingers inside her and she cried out in pleasure. As he was using his fingers he knelt on the bed and pulled his zipper down.

"Isabella do you want to taste me"

"Yes please" she whispered

I felt the bile rising in my throat as I watched him pull out his cock and slip it between her lips. She pulled her hands up and held him as she took him in her mouth over and over again. He quickened the pace with his fingers as she cried out when her orgasm over took her. Her whole body was shaking underneath him as she took him in her mouth all the way.

"Please please fuck me" she cried out "I need to feel you please" she begged

I watched as he pulled himself from her mouth and moved down the bed. He lifted her legs and slammed into her making her scream out.

"Isabella do you want to see your surprise?"

"Yes" she said bucking her hips against him.

I watched as he slowly removed her blindfold and turned her head towards me. The tears were ravishing me as our eyes connected.

**BPOV**

I instantly felt like I was punched in the stomach. Edward my Edward was tied to a chair, his mouth taped shut, and tears cascading down his beautiful face. Reality hit me quickly as my body was still reacting to the drugs my mind was completely my own. The tears started to run down my face as the bile rose through me. He was making Edward watch.

"Edward" I squeaked

He closed his eyes and I could see the disgust behind them.

"I wanted him to watch us so that he could see that I am all you need."

"Fuck you James get the fuck off me now" I screamed

He grabbed my legs as I kicked him and quickly chained me to the bed. I sat up punching and scratching his back. I felt the crack of my cheek bone as his hand whipped back and hit me. I flew back down on the bed as he grabbed my arms and chained them too.

"I guess the E is wearing off Isabella let's get you something to take the edge off."

I watched as he pulled out the syringe and grabbed my arm. My eyes flew to Edward's as the needle pushed thru my skin in my arm. Edward pushed against his restraints as I watched the pure anger seethe thru his eyes.

Within seconds I felt the numb take over my body. James crawled back on top of me throwing the empty syringe to the ground.

"Oh don't look at me like that Edward, when Isabella doesn't behave I make her" he smirked.

He started thrusting in and out of me but I just focused on Edward's eyes. I saw the tears still rolling down his cheeks as mine flowed freely. I whispered "I'm sorry" over and over to him knowing that he was watching this made me physically sick. I leaned my head to the side as the bile rose and flew from my mouth. James slapped me and called me weak before his thrust quickened. It was almost over.

"My happy place Edward, where you are, that's where I am right now. Go with me tune it out baby. Just you and me in our meadow. Please Edward please go with me. I need you."

He nodded his head up and down as he closed his eyes. I watched as they fluttered trying to combat the tears and the disgust he was witnessing while trying to be with me in our meadow in his mind.

"I love you Edward, only you. It has always been you" I whispered.

"Shut up Isabella you disgusting whore. You are mine you will never be his" he yelled as he climbed off of me.

He walked over to Edward and leaned down eye to eye with him "Mine" was all he said as he punched Edward in the stomach. He turned around and uncuffed my arms before leaving the room and locking us in.

I sat up grabbing my face and realizing that is was already really swollen. I winced at the pain but reached my hand out towards Edward. He hung his head low knowing he could do nothing to help me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Edward. As much as it means to see your eyes right now I wish I wasn't. I wish you were at home tucked safely away. I want you to be safe. I can't stand to see you like this. I'm so sorry Edward please forgive me. I wish you had never been my doctor that night." his head dropped as I spoke.

"If you hadn't been you would be home never having to go thru the pain and torture you have now. You would be happy in a life that was easy with a woman that would bring you safety not harm."

His head shot up and he shook it back and forth. He motioned with his head towards me and nodded yes.

"Oh Edward I love you so much, as much as I don't want you to here I need you. You are the only reason I am still alive Edward. You have consumed my every thought and dream. My only happiness in the last month has been you. I will get us out Edward I promise I will figure something out. I'm not ready to let go of you yet." He nodded.

My body feel back limp as the drugs were really kicking in. I turned my head to stare into his eyes as the darkness of my sleep overtook me.

**Still hiding under the bed please no weapons. I'm waving the little white flag. This was an awful chapter to write and it hurt so bad but like I said I fought with James but he won..Bastard! I am going to start on the next chapter right now. I have my notebook, water, cigarettes, and Edward and Bella, we are planning their escape! I luv you all and I hope to get the next chapter up tonight.**

**Reviews= next chapter tonight! Squee! Press the button!**

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	14. Chapter 14

**Ok so chapter 14 came along beautifully and I couldn't ask for it to be anything more. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Playlist The Scientist by Coldplay. Edward picked it lol! I hope the last chapter didn't scare anybody away it was graphic and raw but needed or so James thought. I own nothing but this little story and a serious infatuation with Edward lmao! Enjoy!**

**EPOV**

I watched as Bella's eyes drifted shut. The drugs swimming thru her body had finally took over. I looked over her still naked body seeing the bruises that adorned pretty much her whole body. Some were old and fading quickly while others were new and fresh. In the back of my mind I knew something bad was happening to Bella but to actually witness it and see it with my own eyes directly in front of me was something completely different.

Bella didn't deserve any of this and my heart sank knowing that she would be broken down worse than before if we made it out of this. She would pull thru though because she is a fighter. Much more than she will probably ever realize she is amazing. Watching her sleep brought a comfort to my heart as my name feel from her lips from time to time.

She promised we would get out of this. All the times I was trying to save her and in this moment instead of focusing on herself she is worried about my safety. Typical Bella. One of the many reasons I love her. She has to be the most absolutely selfless person I have ever met. Even in this moment she disregarded her own safety and worried about me. Would she ever see just how amazing and brilliant she really was.

I knew we had to come up with a plan to get out of here. I pulled at the ropes on my arms as I tried to think of any way out of this. After about three hours I managed to get one of my hands free. The next knot was not coming out though with just one hand to pry it open. I glanced around the room and realized there wasn't really anything to help us out and then I saw it. I pulled my hand up and ripped the tape of my mouth.

"Bella, Bella baby wake up. I need you to wake up." I whispered

She stirred a little and then slowly opened her eyes.

"Edward oh my God I thought it was a dream a really bad dream. Are you ok baby"

"I'm fine Bella I promise are you ok?"

"Umm yea nothing I can't handle. I'm so sorry you had to see that Edward please please don't hate me I couldn't handle that."

"Hate you God Bella I could never hate you. You are my life, my reason for living how could you think for one second I would ever hate you?"

"I'm sorry it's just at first My mind was saying no Edward but my body I couldn't control it. I'm so ashamed."

"It was the drugs. It's ok I know you would never do that without them. I just it was hard because I love you and to see you in pain it's disgusting Bella what he did to you. I'm so sorry that this happened. I should have protected you better. I should have been there in the first place."

"Edward you saved me in more ways than you know. Since the beginning you have been saving me. You kept me alive in here. You face in my mind, our happy place, and our memories they have been what has kept me going. Your love for me is all I could ask for to help me."

"Bella we are going to get out of here I promise. We are going to go home to our home when we get out of here. It's waiting for us to move in and decorate and make it ours. I won't leave here without you Bella you are my life and nothing exists if you are not in it."

"How? I've tried to find something to use as a weapon but there is nothing everything is screwed to the walls there is nothing Edward believe me I have tried."

"Can you reach the syringe on the floor?"

She looked down on the floor beside her bed and saw the syringe lying there. She leaned forward slumping off the bed and reached her hand out. she pulled and tugged and finally grabbed it lifting herself back to her bed.

"Bella listen I need you to throw that to me. I will fill it with air and when the moment is right I'm going to kill him Bella it's the only way."

"No!"

"Bella I know this is going to be hard but we have to, it's our only hope at getting out of here alive."

"No Edward I understand but I'll do it. If I ever have a chance at getting over this I need to do it myself. Please Edward not only that but everything that has happened I won't have to worry about anything. Everyone will understand what I had to do."

I hated the thought of Bella carrying this on her chest for the rest of her life but I also was not about to tell her no. After everything she had been thru she felt she needed this and I was at a lose because I would never deny her anything.

"Okay. You just have to fill it with air and you need to put it into the vein in his neck and push the air in. Bella are you sure I hate the thought…"

"Edward I promise I need this"

The next couple of hours we sat starring at each other. My fingers and lips longed to touch her. Even in her frail state she was still the most incredibly determined beautiful woman I had ever seen. I was such a lucky man to have her. After this I would never take her for granted. I would full fill her every need because she was amazing and deserved the world.

"I want to give you the world Bella. I want to give you everything you ever want and need. I want you to see yourself for the amazing woman you are. I'll never take you for granted Bella, ever. I want to grow old with you and have your beautiful face be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep. When it comes time to take my last breath I want to have your hand in mine. I want one last touch of your lips on mine and I want to look into your beautiful eyes as I go. If you ever leave before me Bella I will follow shortly behind because you are what makes me live Bella. Life started the minute I met you and it will end the minute I lose you. God I love you so much baby. When we get out of here I promise I'll make you so happy. We can go back to the start before this and just be happy together I promise."

As I spoke the tears fell from her eyes. She looked at me with so much love and admiration in that moment I thought I would burst.

"Yes, yes to it all. I love you more than anything. I never knew love like this actually existed till the day I met you Edward Cullen. I will make you happy baby and I know we will be happy. You're my light at the end of a dark tunnel. Going back to the start sounds wonderful and though I know there will be hard times, but I would go thru all of them ten thousand times to be by your side. I'm so lucky do you know that. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Every memory will be with you because I can't imagine spending a day in this life without you right beside me. I will stand with you and by you forever Edward."

I felt the tears streaming down my own face as she spoke. If for some reason we didn't make it out of here I would know and she would know just how much we loved each other. I know that we could very well die here but knowing that I would go with Bella makes it easier. Knowing that I got to experience if only for a second the magnitude of love I felt for her and she for me, I knew I could die in peace because I was a lucky son of a bitch to have her to begin with. My thoughts were interrupted as I heard the doors being unlocked. Bella quickly sucked all the air into the syringe and hid it behind her back.

**BPOV**

I watched as James walked in and locked the door. He walked over to Edward and stood in front of him.

"So managed to get out a little bit there did you. That's alright you won't need to be tied up much longer. Bella and I will be leaving shortly and I will take care of you before we leave."

He reached down and grabbed Edward's throat tightly and squeezed. The tears fell hard as I watched Edward's face turn red and then to purple.

"Stop" I screamed.

James dropped his hand and turned his eyes on me.

"What Isabella am I scarring you. I cannot believe you actually love this man. Would you take his place my dear? Would you let me slowly take the life out of you to save him?"

"Yes" I replied.

"No Bella I won't let you. Leave her alone take me James" Edward screamed.

"What do you say Isabella the ball is in your court. He's dies I let you live. You die I let him live. Who will I be killing today Isabella?" he hissed

I wanted to live believe me. The thought of never seeing Alice and Rose or my dad again made the tears come down harder. But Edward was such an amazing soul. he deserved life and I could never be the one responsible for taking it from him. I knew I would never be able to live with myself. My decision was made.

"Me James you will be killing me" I stated.

Edward started to protest but James hit him with a sickening punch before he could continue. He walked over to me slowly wrapping his hands around my small neck.

"As you wish my dear Isabella" his hands tightened around my neck.

"Edward I love you so much forever you hear me forever." I cried

"Stop please take me let her live please I can't let her die I love her so much please James" Edward screamed.

"Her decision has been made."

His hands tightened even harder as I felt my throat constricting. My lungs were burning with the need for air but there was none to consume. I gasped as his hands tightened. With the little bit of air I had left I looked into James's eyes.

"One last kiss before I'm gone James please" I begged.

He leaned down towards my mouth with a smirk. He placed his lips on mine softly before ravaging my mouth. He was literally sucking what little air was left right out of me. I reached my hand up and placed it on his cheek slowly bringing up my other hand I plunged the syringe into his neck and pressed it down.

He fell backwards on the bed grabbing his neck.

"You bitch" he croaked out. I clutched my throat forcing the air back into my lungs. They were aching as the air returned. I sat up and started hitting him. Every ounce of energy I had I put into it.

"I hate you, you pussy. I hope you rot in hell where you belong. What did I do James? I was good to you. I respected you and always treated you with dignity and this is what I got in return. You sick bastard" I screamed thru my tears as I punched him over and over again.

I don't know how long I hit him for before he was limp and no longer fighting. I screamed at him the whole time never stopping. The anger I held for him was pouring out of me as I watched him die.

"Bella are you okay?"

Edward pulled me from my rampage and anger. I looked at him and I saw the blood running down his face. I reached into James's pocket and grabbed the keys and pocket knife that were inside. I reached down and undid my cuffs on my legs before I jumped off the bed and ran to Edward. I jumped into his lap holding him and crying into his chest. He rubbed my back soothing me with the one arm he had gotten free. We sat like that for awhile just holding each other and letting everything finally sink in.

"Bella baby are you ok? God I love you so much" he asked holding my chin.

I looked up into his eyes and I knew I was home and I was safe.

"I love you too so much. I'm fine now that I'm with you are you okay, your face, your bleeding."

"It's just a broken nose I'll be fine"

I reached up and kissed his nose and than his lips. I open my mouth as he did and our tongue's collided in one of the most passionate kisses I had ever experienced. He was mine and I was his and we were ok. The enormity came down on us as we were kissing intensifying the moment.

I quickly jumped off his lap and opened the pocket knife cutting him out of the ropes that bound him. He jumped up and grabbed me pulling me to him. I wrapped my legs around him and kissed him over and over again. If this was all a dream let me never wake up because I was with Edward exactly where I belonged.

We quickly made our way to the door and unlocked running out into the house. We were in a basement and we ran up the stairs to find a phone. Edward grabbed a piece of mail laying on the table with the address on it. I grabbed the phone and quickly dialed making the best phone call I have ever made. Edward was holding me from behind kissing my neck my shoulders anything he could. I think he felt the same like this wasn't real but I knew it was the minute the person on the other line picked up.

"Charlie Swan speaking"

"Daddy" I whispered.

**Ok fuck me running a little on the short side but what a range of emotions I have felt tonight writing. I hope you enjoyed it bunches. Please review and let me know what you think. I will start working on the next chapter in a couple days. I need to get these sweeties home. I luv you all and your reviews so click that button and leave me some more thanks!**

**Reviews= new chapter update soon!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok so this lovely story has come to end my lovely's. I had originally planned on it being longer but I feel it should end here. I also have a new story I started called Parallel Destruction please check it out. It is Edward /Bella of course lol! It is gritty and emotionally wrecking but I plan for it to be pretty amazing so I hope you check it out and leave me some love. I hope you all enjoyed my first fan-fic. I really enjoyed writing it for all of you. Songs for this chap are Aqualung Brighter than Sunshine and Boys like Girls Two is Better than One. Without further ado (I own nothing but my first completed story squee)…The epilogue of My Happy Place?**

**BPOV**

"Ok hunny not much longer just a couple more pushes and you'll be holding your new baby"

I looked up into Edwards's beautiful green eyes and smiled.

Thinking back to the years that brought us to this moment brings a mix of feelings to me.

The day Edward and I escaped from James was a rollercoaster. When my father finally arrived he grabbed me and didn't let go for what seemed like hours, which was fine by me because honestly I never wanted to let him go either. After sitting with officers for hours and explaining everything that had happened with James from day one I was exhausted and just ready to go home.

We pulled up in front of our house, Edward and I's house. It was more than a house though it was our home and I couldn't wait to go in with him.

That first night was amazing to be in Edwards arms again. The horror I endured while with James melted away when Edwards arms wrapped around me. We laid in bed that night just softly caressing each other and whispering our love to each other.

_Flashback_

"_God baby this feels so good with you in my arms. I swear Bella if anything had happened to you I wouldn't have been able to go on. Without you my life is nothing, I could not live in a world where you did not exist." Edward whispered in my ear._

"_Shh let's not talk about that baby you and me we are fine and we will be always. I love you so much Edward more than I ever thought I could love someone."_

_He gently kissed my lips and softly stroked my stomach with his fingers. I leaned back and kissed him with every ounce of passion that was coursing thru me. _

"_Fuck Bella I missed this so much" Edward sighed between our lips._

_I reached up and pulled myself on top of him resting against him. He was already ready for me and in that moment on wanted nothing more than for him to be inside me. I needed that connection with him again and couldn't wait to be filled completely by him._

_I slowly lowered myself on to him and felt him slide into my wet center. He grabbed my hips and started to push himself in and out of me at a slow pace. It felt wonderful and in those moments the world disappeared and the only thing I was sure of was that I loved Edward more than anything ever, even more than myself and that I would spend the rest of my life making sure to always bring him happiness. We made love all thru the night resting in between to just softly caress each other and bask in the love we shared for each other._

_End Flashback_

The months that passed after the first night were in no way easy. Both Edward and I had to attend meetings with counselors to help us get over the things that had happened with James. I spoke his name with venom for a very long time and even though I will always despise him for hurting Edward and I in a way I'm glad that things happened the way they did. I would have never met Edward had things not have happened that way and even though I had to suffer I ended up with the most rewarding love a person could have.

A year to the day that we met Edward and I were married. I'll never forget walking down the aisle to Edward's open arms. Our vows were traditional but meant the world to us. Alice and Rose stood next to me while Jasper and Emmett accompanied Edward. My dress was beautiful but was nice and smug due to the little baby bump I was sporting. For our honeymoon we vacationed in Hawaii and it was beautiful. We spent a month there never ever really leaving our bedroom.

Six months later Edward Anthony the second was brought into this world. He was a beautiful 8 pound nine ounce little boy with brown hair and gleaming green eyes just like his daddy.

Edward was wonderful and we took turns getting up in the nights and changing diapers. I could not have asked for anything more in my life. I felt blessed in every sense of the word. I never realized I would be so happy in my life time but I was and it was amazing.

Three years later here we are getting ready to welcome our daughter into the world. I never imagined in a million years I would be happily married with a son and a daughter on the way. Every morning I awake to Edward's beautiful face and I simply thank God for all the things I have.

In all the years we have never taken each other for granted because we know how important we are to each other. My boys are my life and I couldn't imagine it being any other way.

"Come on baby push you can do this sweetie" Edward said bringing me out of my memories.

"I pushed down as hard as I could as we welcomed our baby girl into the world.

The doctor laid her on my chest and they wiped her off. Edward grabbed me and kissed me smiling down at our new daughter.

"I love you so much Bella, I'll never stop you will always be everything I need for forever."

"I love you to baby forever you will always be mine."

**Eighteen Years Later**

"Hey Nessie are you ready sweetheart?" I asked

"Yeah mom I can't believe I'm going to college this is so freaking exciting." Nessie squealed.

Today we would be dropping her off at college to join her brother. Edward decided o become a doctor like his father and was now in his second year of med school. Renessme decided to go into photography and were excited and very proud of them both.

"I love you guys so much thank you for everything. I'll call you as soon as I get situated." Nessie said.

We hugged her and told her we loved her while we watched her walk away. Suddenly she turned and ran to me tears running down her face. I grabbed her and hugged her hard.

"I love you baby so much. You will be fine and you will do great things. I'm so proud od the beautiful woman you have become baby. We are only two hours away so you know we will be here if you ever need us ok baby." I said with tears in my eyes.

"Thanks mom I love you so much thanks for always believing in me. I love you and I'll talk to you soon." She said turning to leave again.

The drive home was fast and quiet but Edward knew I needed time to sulk and figure out how to let me baby girl go.

"You know I have never loved anyone the way I love you Bella. The amazing thing is that on days like today I find myself falling in love with you even more if that is even possible. That day you came thru my emergency room doors I never would have guessed that I would be sitting here with you so many years later as much in love with you if not more than I was in that very moment. I love you sweetheart always. You had my heart the moment I laid eyes on you." Edward said kissing my knuckles gently.

"I love you so much and I can't imagine a day going by if you weren't in it. You know I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you too. You simply amaze me everyday Edward because I never knew I could be loved or give love like we have. Every day with the smallest gesture or a touch of your lips I reminded that I am the luckiest woman in the world because we have what many could only wish for. You are my fairytale Edward, my knight in shining armor, the only person I will ever need." I said back to him smiling.

As we approached the front door to our home Edward pulled me up into his arms.

"What are you doing?" I laughed.

"Carrying my beautiful wife into our home that is completely empty so I can make love to you and show you how much I love you" He winked.

"After all these years Edward you can still make me swoon." I laughed.

He kissed me gently on the forehead as we made our way thru the house. He laid me down on the bed and curled up behind me. I was at home in his arms in what I could only refer to as My Happy Place!

**Sniff Sniff I can't believe it is over. So I know it was short but everything that needed to be said was there and I feel good about it. Thank you for taking this journey with me on my first fan fic and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please check out my new story Parallel Destruction I promise not to disappoint with this one. It is hard to read but it is a great story of heartache, pain, dependence, and acceptance. I love everyone of you who reviewed and favorited my story and I hope to see you on the flip side MUAH!!!!!!!**


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